Um, There’s a New ‘Baldur’s Gate 3’ Hook Up Speedrun?

It’s time to get it on as fast as humanly (drowly?) possible in Baldur’s Gate 3. A new “sex%” speedrun for Larian Studios’ RPG is now official, all thanks to one of the the world’s most intrepid digital sex-havers.

That’s right. According to PC Gamer, YouTuber Mae revealed a new speedrun for hooking up with everyone’s favorite despicable drow, Minthara. “Larian tried to patch out sex speedrunning,” Mae wrote in the video’s description. “Unfortunately for them, we are not so easily deterred.”

Sex%: The Baldur’s Gate 3 speedrun, explained

The speedrun, which clocks in at just four minutes and 17 seconds, runs on Patch 4 and quickly puts players into the Companion’s good graces. It’s evidence that Larian’s game is still just as steamy as ever … even if Gale isn’t trying to shag every other player these days.

To be clear, Mae’s sex% run requires skill and dexterity to accomplish, and should be celebrated as the speedrunning accomplishment that it is—especially because this isn’t Mae’s first time breaking a world record. The YouTuber was able to get it on with the githyanki Lae’Zel in one minute and 58 seconds, an impressive feat for Lae’Zel lovers everywhere.

“After just over two months, the Baldur’s Gate 3 speedrunning community has finally peaked,” Mae announced on Oct. 20, 2023. “The two minute barrier has been shattered. We can now bang Lae’zel in under two minutes, even faster than a speedrunner can last in real life. This is the world’s first sub-2 minute run and the new world record.”

Earlier, Mae was also able to hook up with the githyanki in two minutes and 13 seconds back in August 2023. That may make Minthara’s whopping four minutes seem unimpressive. But the Minthara sexploit is a new innovation after Larian patched Mae’s various sex% routes, preventing the speedrunner from banging Companions as fast as possible.

But now, drow is on the menu, and Mae is cooking in the kitchen.

“If you’re wondering why this is significant,” Mae wrote in the Patch 4 sex% run’s YouTube comments, “Larian made changes in Patch 4 that basically nerfed our Lae’zel route to the ground, making that route unviable. Fortunately, we were still able to find a certain drow with low enough standards.”

Baldur’s Gate 3 fans are losing it over the new Minthara hook up run. One YouTuber pointed out how the four-minute run’s story is essentially “random stranger shows up with thing that saves you, then leaves,” leads to a second freak encounter, and then suddenly, Minthara bangs the player. Meanwhile, others described exactly what the rest of us were thinking: “Finally, proof Minthara is best girl.”

Best girl, indeed. Catch Mae’s video and see if you can beat the YouTuber’s record yourself. It’s unlikely, to be clear. Mae is really good at speedrunning this game. Instead, you might just want to stick with giantess Karlach if you’re trying to make your BG3 run strangely thirsty.

(feature image: Larian Studios)