A story is only as great as its villain. Such is true of horror movies and anime alike but Star Wars is perhaps the most famous example. Where would these movies be without their heavies? The stomach of a sarlacc known as film criticism! So here they are, the despicable saving graces of Star Wars, ranked.
10. Jabba the Hutt
Jabba the Hutt is a prime example of an introductory bad guy—an appetizer of villainy before the nefarious main course, if you will. He’s a gargantuan space slug that oozes out a living making shady deals across the darkest parts of the Galaxy. The Tatooine crime lord is the epitome of lust, greed, and cruelty given his penchant for enslaving women and feeding them to the literal space monster he keeps in his basement. His wormlike design is nothing short of iconic, and the fact that he was made by one giant puppet makes his slimy presence even more impressive.
9. General Grievous
My personal favorite Star Wars villain serves as the silver lining to those dark clouds known as the prequels. Grievous is a creepy combination of organic and synthetic parts that serves as a four-armed perversion of a Jedi warrior. His cybernetic augmentations allow him to wield quadruple the weaponry of a regular lightsaber fighter with chilling effectiveness. Before taking the nomme de guerre “Grievous,” he was known as Qymaen jai Sheelal and was one of the most powerful warlords on his home planet. Due to the Jedi Order meddling in the affairs of his warlike homeworld, his planet suffered a debilitating famine. He sought to end the Jedi ever since.
8. Count Dooku
Count Dooku is responsible for most of the villainous BS that has occurred across the Galaxy. Many of the universe’s tragedies and eventual villain arcs can be traced back to him. Dooku is one of the most formidable fighters that the Dark Side has to offer, which, when combined with his tactical genius and endless supply of Empire funded resources, makes him one of the most dangerous foes that the good guys have ever faced. They don’t call the man Darth Tyranus for nothing.
7. The Grand Inquisitor
The GI is so scary that he doesn’t even have a name. He’s THAT committed to his job. And what is that job? Hunting down and killing Jedi. The Grand Inquisitor is the leader of the Empire-sponsored Inquisitorius, a group of former Jedi Knights who are tasked with eradicating the members of their once proud order. It’s this little factoid that makes The Grand Ink so evil. The man has no loyalty. None. The Jedi order fell, and he flipped sides like damn pancake. Ruthless, singleminded, and immensely skilled with the lightsaber, the Grand Inquisitor is not someone you want inquiring after you.
6. Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin
There’s something about non-Force sensitive bad guys in Star Wars that really skeeves me out. They weren’t drawn to evil due to the intoxicating power of the Dark Side; they choose the Empire life out of cold rationality. The higher ups in the Empire are true blue Nazi types, spurred on by twisted ideals and a lack of humanity. Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin is one of the highest ranking members in the Imperial forces. He has nearly unfettered command of its forces, including his pet project: the Death Star. It was Tarkin who used the weapon on Alderaan, killing billions in an instant. Nasty.
5. Grand Admiral Thrawn
While not nearly as powerful as Tarkin, Grand Admiral Thrawn makes up for that fact with his spine-chilling demeanor. The blue-skinned, red-eyed humanoid is nothing short of unsettling. His heart is equally as hypothermic as his skin tone. He is a ruthless strategist and sets himself to learning about the art and culture of his enemies to better destroy them. What kind of person can expose themselves to the artistic soul of a people and still find it in their heart to eradicate them? This guy, hence his speedy promotion in the Imperial ranks.
4. Darth Maul
Darth Maul is easily one of the most iconic villains in Star Wars, second perhaps only to Darth Vader himself. With his double-bladed lightsaber, he is powerful enough to face off against Qui-Gon Jin and Obi-Wan Kenobi at the same time, killing the former in combat. The silent antagonist is eventually bisected by Obi Wan, but this only serves as the beginning of his story. His character reaches new depths of depravity after he fuses with a spider-like cybernetic lower body and embarks on a singleminded revenge quest against the Jedi who maimed him. Obi-Wan deprived him of more than his legs. His mind went, too.
3. Darth Sidious
The Emperor himself. Lord of the Imperial Galaxy and internet memes. Darth Sidious, a.k.a. Emperor Palpatine, began his political career in service of a Galactic Republic but was able to obtain power and destroy Galatic democracy “to thunderous applause.” The Emperor’s crimes are countless, but I’ll do my best. He nearly wiped out the Jedi with Order 66 (and personally killed Mace Windu) and plunged the Galaxy into an era of darkness and tyranny. Without a doubt, Darth Sidious is responsible for nearly all of the suffering and strife within the Galaxy. For what? Power alone.
2. Darth Vader
Darth Vader is arguably the most iconic villain in cinema history. His imposing stature. His black space samurai armor. His creepy breathing. His rich basso voice à la James Earl Jones. He’s the epitome of evil. The blueprint. And like all the greatest bad guys, he was once a force of good. Anakin Skywalker, the most powerful Jedi to ever live, was once a hero who fought on the side of justice. How did the Galaxy’s shining beacon of hope go from defeating droid armies to killing younglings? Heartbreak. The death of his beloved Padmé certainly didn’t help. He is able to play upon both our fears and our sympathies, making him the most enduring character in the franchise.
1. George Lucas
George Lucas. The creator of Star Wars. An Anakin-esque figure himself. How did a man who was so revered, who created one of the most culturally significant stories in cinema history, fall so far? Like most of the other characters on this list, the answer is “the thirst for more.” Lucas stomped on his cinematic legacy with the creation of the Star Wars prequels, films which were reviled by critic and fan alike. This is the man who thought that Jar Jar Binks was a good idea. The man who penned Anakin Skywalker’s infamous “sand” monologue. The man who added whack-ass CGI to his already perfect original trilogy. The worst parts of the Star Wars as a franchise are the parts that George Lucas wanted most, and the Galaxy will suffer for it time and time again.
(featured image: Lucasfilm)
Published: Mar 29, 2024 04:34 pm