The internet has rallied around a woman who went viral on TikTok after her husband’s actions nearly distracted her from finishing a half-marathon. Fortunately, the video has resulted in many positive conversations on the importance of allowing mothers to do things for themselves once in a while.
For some reason, the TikTok, first posted by Sinomar_Reporter, has been referred to as “Marathon Mom Ignores Kids.” However, a more fitting title is “Husband Nearly Costs Marathon Mom A Win.” The video sees a woman racing toward the finish line of a half-marathon. Every runner knows the few yards before a finish line is where racers put every last ounce of energy towards a final kick, so the woman is nearly in a full sprint with another runner close on her heels, about to finish with an incredible time of sub-1:41:00. Even the runner behind her begins clapping for her as she nears the tape. Then, suddenly, a man on the sidelines, presumed to be the woman’s husband, pushes two small children into the path of the sprinting racers, seemingly urging them to give her a hug right at that moment.
Fortunately, the mother manages to swerve to avoid the children and breaks through the tape, swinging her arms in victory. Meanwhile, the husband is seen looking at other spectators and shrugging his shoulders as if he doesn’t understand his wife’s actions, or even as if he thinks she did something wrong.
The video quickly went viral, garnering 12 million views and tens of thousands of comments and stitches. But the conversation spurred by the seconds-long video is far more important.
The Marathon Mom breaks her silence on viral video
[Updated 6/25/2024] The woman in the video has been identified as Luciana Grandi Lourenção, a Brazilian marathon runner, personal trainer, and mother of two children. After the video went viral, Lourenção broke her silence on the matter in an Instagram video. In Portuguese, she explains to her followers that the video may not have been what it appeared to be. She says she and her husband, Pedro, had actually planned, before the race, to have her cross the finish line with her children.
However, they made this decision without knowing what place she’d be in or how close the race would be. Ultimately, she found herself in first place in the women’s division of the race, and the second place woman was right on her heels. Those on the sidelines, though, likely wouldn’t have realized that the other racer was only 10–20 seconds behind Lourenção. As a result, her husband thought they were still going ahead with the plan. At the last minute, Lourenção decided to push through and win the race instead of pausing for the children. She concluded, “I would like to have made a nicer arrival with them there, but I know that I will have other opportunities to do this.”
Her explanation means that much of the backlash directed at the husband wasn’t warranted, as they agreed about her taking the kids—still, the many conversations about motherhood sparked by the video stand. Lourenção also received some backlash over her decision and seemed to exhibit a bit of guilt and regret over the incident. The fact that a mother choosing herself in a race sparked so much attention and so many strong reactions indicates that it’s a topic that still needs to be discussed.
Why the Marathon Mom TikTok was so infuriating
Before Lourenção’s calrification, the most prominent reaction to the video was fury, especially from fellow runners and mothers, and it’s not hard to see why. For one, the father still endangered his children by choosing to push them into the path of sprinting racers and a pacer on a bike. Everyone knows that allowing children in the path of runners in any race is something you NEVER do. As someone who ran track and cross-country for four years, I know it’s common, even in high school and college races, for distracted parents to get chewed out if their kids run onto the course. I can’t imagine any parent actually telling their child to run onto the course of a half marathon, endangering both the children and the runners.
However, for many, the most infuriating aspect of the TikTok was the perceived unfairness of the situation. The husband very nearly cost his wife the race with his actions. And this isn’t just some random race. His wife was about to finish a half-marathon with a near-elite time. A greater portion of the population cannot even complete a half marathon, and breaking the tape at the end of such a race is a feat even some strong runners never complete. To make things worse, it wasn’t an accident that the husband almost cost her the race. Given his shrug at the end, he seemingly actually expected her to give up her incredible time and place by stopping and hugging her children feet away from the finish line with another runner on her tail.
There was no way to spin his actions to make them acceptable. One may argue that he’s just oblivious and thought he was doing the right thing, but it demonstrates a severe lack of understanding and respect for a man to be unable to comprehend why this moment is important to his wife and why he shouldn’t interrupt it. Some TikTok users have even speculated that his actions may have been manipulative and an attempt to sabotage her race. Whether he actually had ill intentions or not, his inability to see his wife as something other than a mother, even in this monumental moment, was egregious and led to him almost selfishly costing her a major accomplishment.
The internet defended Marathon Mom
Given that the video is often referred to as “Marathon Mom Ignores Kids,” some commenters took a critical stance against her, questioning why she ignored her kids or trying to trivialize the importance of her moment. Fortunately, countless women and some men jumped to defend the Marathon Mom, immediately flooding the video with comments like, “I’m glad she chose herself.” Others declared that the man needed to “let her have her moment,” with many mothers writing, “WE’RE MORE THAN MOTHERS.”
The video led to many intriguing conversations, primarily around society’s and partners’ expectations of mothers. One therapist broke down the situation very well, conceding that even if the man had good intentions, the impact of his decision was horrible and shows what happens when someone in a relationship fails to think through the impact of their actions. Additionally, she pointed out the difficulty of being a female parent in a society where many genuinely believe that a woman should’ve prioritized her confused children and was wrong to desire a marathon win.
Some women pointed out the double standard of how much more outrage there would be if, instead of a woman winning a race, a male football player’s partner sent his children out onto the field during a game-changing moment. I can’t even imagine the way the internet would demolish that mother. Yet, some people are defending the man’s actions because of his intentions or saying the mom should’ve given up her win.
Others doubled down on their praise for the woman for committing to taking the moment that she trained so hard for while shaming the husband. Also, although there’s no proof of his intentions, many did point out that his behavior is fairly typical of someone trying to be manipulative or men who gaslight their partners whenever they have to “babysit” their own children.
Many realize that this video isn’t about one guy making an incredibly selfish and ridiculous decision. It’s about a wider problem with society and men seeing women solely as mothers. Being a mother is already one of the biggest sacrifices a person can make, and involves carrying a child for nine months, undergoing painful labor, and experiencing changes to their body, all to bring another life into the world. Many mothers continue making sacrifices by giving up hobbies or career goals to focus on their children’s needs and dreams. Despite all these sacrifices, society and husbands still demand more. They expect mothers to be in motherhood mode 24/7, and to give up achievements, alone time, or even the smallest actions for themselves in order to be 100% attuned to their child.
Men expect their wives to include their children in a marathon win, lecture college graduates that their worth is solely tied to motherhood, shame mothers for having girls’ nights or asking for a solo vacation, and constantly look for other ways to erase women’s identities outside of their husband and children. However, mothers are more than mothers. They are humans who are allowed to have their own careers, interests, and hobbies. They are especially allowed to have a moment for themselves that they’ve worked hard for without having to always share it with their husband and children.
This article was originally published on May 24, 2024. It has been updated to add Lourenção’s comments.
Published: Jun 25, 2024 11:17 am