Men started a counter-trend to destroy the ‘she deserved the purse’ TikTok movement

Women started the wholesome “she deserved the purse” trend on TikTok, but it didn’t take long for men to destroy it by launching their own “I deserve it more” counter-trend.

Recently, women on TikTok started a “pay it forward” trend. The trend began when DeNaesha Gonzalez posted a TikTok video of an unpurchased purse abandoned in the baby supplies aisle at a Target store. Gonzalez created a backstory for the purse, imagining a mother had abandoned the purse because she couldn’t afford the accessory for herself and supplies for her child. In a caption over the video, Gonzalez wrote, “She deserved the purse.”

The video went viral, resonating with millions of women around the globe because it beautifully captured the sacrifices mothers make. In a country where the right to paid parental leave isn’t protected and childcare costs are skyrocketing, it’s likely countless other women have had to give up a purse or other items they deserved just so that they could afford formula for their children. As a result, many influencers began going to their local stores and leaving cash inside baby products in honor of the woman who deserved the purse. These influencers hoped unsuspecting mothers and families would be able to use the surprise cash to treat themselves or help them pay the bills.

Sadly, it seems the trend disgruntled a few men, who began looking for ways to ruin it for women.

Men are taking advantage of the “she deserved the purse” trend

As soon as the trend started, it raised concerns about people taking advantage of it. Comments on the videos of those participating in the trend warned that they saw people searching through the baby section just to get the money. Videos also quickly arose of items in the baby section left open, as customers seemingly ransacked the items for money. While men and women likely took advantage of the trend, only the men had the audacity to film themselves doing it. A slew of videos cropped up on TikTok from men filming themselves searching through baby supplies for the money and pocketing it.

One user, @juanfuentes90, wrote over the video, “I deserve it more, sorry.” In the caption, he wrote, “Infinity money glitch.” He also claimed in the caption that he put the money back, but many commenters remained skeptical, given that he only filmed himself pocketing the money and went so far as to tear open packages to find the cash. @juanfuentes90 later posted a video apologizing to those who “did not understand the humor” of his other video. In the video, he showed himself allegedly participating in the actual trend, though commenters continued to express skepticism about his genuineness.

Another video posted by @j3sxs08 wrote, “I deserve the purse,” over a video of him taking money he found in a product. He tagged the video “#jokes,” but it’s unclear what the “joke” is supposed to be.

Another user, @bankroleangel187, also posted a video of himself searching a baby aisle until he found cash, captioning it, “After I watched the ‘She deserved that purse’ video.” @srt.rick posted an “I deserve it more” video while urging users to keep up the trend. A man who goes by the username @shmoneywey filmed himself stealing the money with the caption, “I deserve that car.”

While it is possible some of the videos were jokes, several of them appear to be serious. Even the supposedly “joking” ones are harmful because they’re still spreading the nasty “I deserve it more” message and missing the whole point of the trend. Not only are these men stealing, but many are going as far as to practically vandalize the baby aisle as they filmed themselves ripping packages open and leaving items misplaced and strewn about.

It’s likely that none of these men actually need the money. If they did, they probably wouldn’t brazenly film themselves taking it. It seems the only reason these men are taking the money is that the thought of a struggling mother getting it instead angers them. These fragile men were so angry that women were supporting each other and raising awareness for the struggles of motherhood that they just had to find a way to ruin the trend. Their videos reached thousands and potentially even millions of users, who will now be dissuaded from participating in the “she deserved the purse” movement.

The horrific counter-trend also provides further evidence of the epidemic of toxic masculinity. It’s very concerning that the first thought men had when realizing mothers in need were being supported was, “I deserve that more.” Seeing women happy and supported should not be so anger-inducing to men. On top of that, men shouldn’t be so sure of avoiding consequences that they brazenly film their hateful acts. It doesn’t matter if it’s not all men; no men should be doing the “I deserve it more” trend.