Beware of spoilers! The ‘Agatha All Along’ Funko Pop leaks, explained

Funko, you’ve been very naughty. Before this moment, you were nothing more than a benign toy company manufacturing playful likenesses of famous pop culture characters. Now, you’re a wanted entity. Your crime? Providing spoilers.

What did Funko do?

Oh, Funko, you just couldn’t keep your adorable little plastic mouth shut, could you? Now look where we are. We’ve got major Agatha All Along spoilers poisoning the four corners of the internet. Are you proud of yourself? I’ve looked into those dark little orbs you call eyes, and do you know what I see there? Guilt.

Major spoilers for Agatha All Along follow!

A listing of Agatha All Along Funko Pops on the UK toy retailer Symth’s has revealed sensitive information regarding the identity of two important Agatha All Along characters. For those of you who want to remain uncontaminated by spoilers, please avert your eyes. Better yet, close this browser window and flush out your peepers as they taught you in high school chemistry class. It’s the only way to truly be safe.

For the brave souls who remain, you might want to sit down. The toy retailer Smyths confirmed the identities of the mysterious Teen and the true name of Aubrey Plaza’s Rio Vidal. The Funko Pop for Teen was listed as Wiccan, AKA Billy Kaplan (Wanda Maximoff’s son). Rio Vidal? She’s not Blackheart, like the fandom expected. She’s Death itself. Literally, her character is the personification of Death. The same Death Thanos had the hots for in the comics and snapped away half of all life in the universe to impress.

Whatever you have to say for yourself, Funko and Smyths, save it. That’s between you and your lawyer. You have the right to remain silent.