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‘She never said thank you’: This is exactly how you SHOULDN’T act on a plane

Typically, the AITA Reddit page has me wondering if men are okay. This time, I feel that way about older women who have no manners. A new post showed us all exactly what we shouldn’t do on airplanes and…the poster has way more patience than I do.

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The story was simple: A man got on a plane and sat down with his headphones on, not realizing that a woman expected him to help he with her bags. He describes her as being in her 50s-60s and said that she snapped her fingers in his face and said “You help?” to him to get him to put her luggage in the overhead compartment.

Now, I have been on planes a lot. I know that sometimes, it is hard to get your bag up there if you’re shorter (like I am) but typically if I need assistance I can…ask politely. That being said, I am stubborn and most the time a man has to ASK me if I want help and then I relent. But that’s not important here. What is is how this woman acted towards this young man.

He wrote that once he realized she needed help, he was willing to do so before she began snapping. He then claims that the behavior didn’t end throughout the flight. She made him pause his movie to open her water bottle and didn’t even ask him to do it or thank him, just demanded it of him. The situation resulted in him leaving the plane and not helping her take down her bags. He wrote that he thought it’d make him feel better but he felt like everyone was looking at him thinking “wow this dude heartless af.”

No he was right.

Plane etiquette is dying right before our eyes. I have seen it happen. People don’t know how to deplane properly, they’re taking their shoes off and putting them on someone else’s seat, and don’t even get me started on the fart situation on flights. It’s bad out there for those of us flying commercial airlines.

It is almost as if everyone forgot how to act or decided that post-pandemic, they’re willing to just do whatever they want and not think of others. This man clearly was willing to help her but she refused to even ask or say thank you when he did. I do not blame him in the slightest for ignoring her at the end of the flight. If it were me, I would have very loudly said “A please and thank you goes a long way” to her.

One comment pointed out that he was not an asshole and that it was all on this woman. They wrote “the finger snap would have put the brakes on me helping immediately. Honestly, she could not have been a worse seat-mate anyway, so you didn’t gain anything.” Which truly that’s the worst part. It is one thing to demand I help you but snapping in my face? Absolutely not. Let your bag roll away at that point!


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Rachel Leishman
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Rachel Leishman (She/Her) is an Assistant Editor at the Mary Sue. She's been a writer professionally since 2016 but was always obsessed with movies and television and writing about them growing up. A lover of Spider-Man and Wanda Maximoff's biggest defender, she has interests in all things nerdy and a cat named Benjamin Wyatt the cat. If you want to talk classic rock music or all things Harrison Ford, she's your girl but her interests span far and wide. Yes, she knows she looks like Florence Pugh. She has multiple podcasts, normally has opinions on any bit of pop culture, and can tell you can actors entire filmography off the top of her head. Her current obsession is Glen Powell's dog, Brisket. Her work at the Mary Sue often includes Star Wars, Marvel, DC, movie reviews, and interviews.