‘Ladies … choose yourself:’ Nobody was prepared to read what this man wrote to his wife

Many terrible relationship stories are circulating on social media. When X user The Stay @ Home Fragrance Mama (@JoyyUnSpeakable) posted that women should prioritize themselves over a man, social media was understandably pessimistic about the letter attached to her post.

Her caption reads, “Ladies … choose yourself. I woke up to this nonsense after almost 11 years of marriage.” The letter from her husband appeared to be attached to a bouquet. Social media thought it was a cowardly breakup letter, but it turned out everyone was mistaken—in the best way possible.

Fred, the OP’s husband, prefaced the letter by saying how much he loved his wife, writing:

“Let me start this off by saying that I Love You dearly. You mean the world to me. However I owe it to myself as well as you to be completely honest with you. I have to come forward with my truth. I hate to do it this way but it’s now or never because what I’m about to say has to be said.”

Sounds pretty ominous, right? The internet was understandably worried.

Then, by the second paragraph, Fred stood on business. He wasn’t asking for a divorce. Instead, Fred explained he would be watching a New York Knicks game. Fred wrote:

“That means from 7 PM (that’s when the pre-game starts) to whatever time the game ends, I will not be a husband or a father. Y’all are on your own for a couple of hours. No I will not watch our shows with you. No I will not get you something sweet (…) This doesn’t mean that I love you guys any less. It just means that tonight is not about y’all.”

He wasn’t asking for permission. Fred was determined to watch that game. The letter included a hilarious tirade about Fred not tucking his child in or walking the dog for the duration of the game. On a chuckle-worthy end note, he told his wife that their child was only allowed to stay up late if he watched the game with their dad. Otherwise, it was “off to bed with him.” It seems that Fred couldn’t switch off dad and husband mode entirely, even when trying to shirk his responsibilities for the night.

We need more wholesome jumpscares like this

Thankfully, this wasn’t the disappointing story social media thought it would be, just a gag between a married couple who gave the internet a wholesome jumpscare. Those who replied to the OP on X felt trolled by her post, to say the least. One wrote, “You could have given me a million guesses on how that letter would end, and I still wouldn’t have seen this coming.” Many agreed with this sentiment: “Joy, you scared the sh*t outta me.”

It seems that the real troll was Fred himself. His wife initially felt nervous about the letter too, then laughed when she read the rest of it. Fred was all set to come back after the game—unlike some guys who, as the cliché goes, leave to buy milk and never return.