MARJORIE, YOU’RE BACK.
Girl, I am so proud of you. I was worried for a while. Your recent attempts at internet relevancy were tepid and boring. Reposting lies about Biden starting World War III? It was frankly unoriginal. Uninspired. I was worried that the Marjorie of yore, the nitwit who raved insanely about “Jewish Space Lasers” while calling her colleagues “little bitches” on the house floor, was gone for good. Replaced with an old, sad hack who can’t even come up with a solid fake news pitch anyone. But in light of your recent post on X, it appears I was wrong.
Marjorie, you’re at your best when the joke is on you and you don’t even know it. This recent X post proves that you’ve returned to form. First off, great set up: using Joe Biden’s recent pardon of his son Hunter over multiple felonies is the perfect juicy piece of political wheeling and dealing to hook ’em in. Then you give us the punchline, which as Laura Loomer so expertly points out, you don’t even understand that you’re the butt of.
Marjorie, you just pulled a Republican classic: saying the quiet part out loud. You just tacitly admitted, in front of God, Elon Musk and everyone else swimming around in the cesspool of X that you yourself have committed a crime that would require a presidential pardon. And not just you, but “all of us” as in your entire political party is guilty of criminal acts.
Oh Marjorie, just when I thought that you couldn’t get any dumber you go on and totally unreedem yourself. THIS is the kind of MTG content that I subscribe to. Grade A Republican Self-Owning, on par with that time Turning Point USA director Charlie Kirk asked “if liberal professors don’t discriminate against conservatives, then why do conservative students get lower grades?”
It truly is a pipe bomb, though evidently Marjorie still hasn’t quite figured out that this tweet blew up in her face.
Girl, please tell us. We need to know. Did you make good on one of your old social media threats of violence somewhere down the line? Did you leave the doors and windows to the halls of Congress unlocked so the January 6’ers could get inside? Tax fraud? Witness tampering? Arson? The buying and selling of illegal exotic animals? With you Marjorie, nothing would surprise me.
We already know about your colleagues. Matt Gaetz pulled out of his nomination for Attorney General in light of his sex trafficking allegations. We know about Trump Cabinet pick Pete Hesgeth’s sexual assault accusations too. We know about about Trump’s pick for French Ambassador Charles Kushner, the father or Trump’s son-in-law that blackmailed his own brother-in-law in a move Chris Christie called “one of the most loathsome, disgusting crimes” he’d ever prosecuted. Kushner got a pardon from Trump already, along with literally everyone else charged in Robert Mueller’s Russia probe. I’m sure Trump is willing to hand out plenty more where that came from, just like I’m sure we’ll find out about all the skeletons you keep in your closet MTG, and I’m sure it will be soon.
Published: Dec 4, 2024 06:13 am