If you’ve ever wanted to smell like a convicted felon-turned-U.S. president, here’s your chance!
As if 2024 couldn’t get any more Kafkaesque, Donald Trump is promoting a new line of merchandise in honor of his Election Day win. Along with MAGA bro staples like NFT trading cards and autographed guitars—both of which will run you a pretty penny—a new cologne and perfume called “Fight, Fight, Fight” has been added to the lineup, with the name being a nod to Trump’s July assassination attempt. Predictably, the internet has a lot of feelings about it.
Trump skeptics have some Thoughts about his new fragrance
“Strength, power, and victory” aren’t exactly descriptors I’d attach to Donald Trump, but if his marketing team can maintain this level of delusion, so can I. These scents can supposedly be found in his “Fight, Fight, Fight Cologne” for men, while ladies get the far less commanding notes of “delicate florals” and citrus in the “Fight Fight Fight Perfume,” per the official Trump Fragrance website. Did I mention that a single bottle costs 199 U.S. dollars?
On X (formerly Twitter), users have other, perhaps more colorful suggestions for the name of Trump’s new fragrance, ranging from “McDonald’s” to “Disappointment.” Even still, the MAGA crowd will absolutely eat up anything Trump releases—I bet “Fight, Fight, Fight” is going to be underneath every top donor’s Christmas tree this year. One X user summarized what it probably smells like best: “Corruption.”
And hey, if the fragrance didn’t seal the deal enough, maybe consider buying the Republican in your life a “Trump Racer” watch for the low price of $2,999. Or, for that special someone, maybe the “First Lady” edition watch, featuring Trump’s engraved signature?
Let’s not forget that Trump allegedly owes millions in legal fees, in addition to past campaign expenses. One of his (very) costly rallies raked up over $25 thousand in expenses in Prescott Valley, Arizona in 2018, which he put off paying for several years. Not to mention the onslaught of campaign fees from the 2024 election—but hey, maybe his latest BFF Elon Musk will foot the bill this time.
I’m going to go ahead and assume that it’s probably not a good thing that the next American president is peddling a perfume line ahead of Inauguration Day. It’s smelling like … broke. While it’s likely just another excuse for Trump to tout his victory, I seriously wonder if this new merch line is a last-ditch effort for him to pay off his balances before he takes the oath. Either way, I’m not sure I ever want to know what Trump’s musk smells like, thank you very much.
Published: Dec 8, 2024 08:01 am