‘Come on, man, talk to your boy’: TikTok isn’t taking the ‘boys will be boys’ excuse over Nerf guns with thumbtacks

A TikTok mom posted nonchalantly about her son putting thumbtacks in his Nerf gun bullets, but the internet is not having the “boys will be boys” excuse.

One of TikTok’s many merits is its increasing awareness of toxic “boy moms.” Increasingly, the term “boy mom” isn’t used to describe just any mother to sons but mothers who are enablers. They’re the kind of mothers who are jealous of their daughter-in-law or who would help their adult son hide his affair from his wife. They raise their sons to be entitled and emotionally immature by serving them hand and foot, favoring them over their daughters, and actively trying to prevent them from being held accountable for their actions. What many boy moms have in common is an apparent aversion to actually parenting their sons. “Boys will be boys” is the motto they live by. However, TikTok has begun pushing back against boy moms, either through parodies or by stitching and calling out mothers who show elements of boy moms.

Recently, a mother’s video about her son putting thumbtacks in Nerf gun bullets and shooting them around the house went viral and renewed the conversation around boy moms.

Mother’s video of son’s Nerf gun stunt stirs debate

In a now-deleted video, TikToker user @liqwedddreamz revealed that her son had put thumbtacks in his foam Nerf gun bullets, loaded them into the gun, and shot them around the house. She wrote that she found out when she “noticed his bullets were sticking to the walls.” However, she was surprisingly unconcerned, showing the camera a bullet with the tack sticking out of it and stating, “This is what it’s like to be a boy mom.” Viewers can see the original video in this stitch from user Luis Lopez Comedy, who adamantly disagrees with the mom’s sentiment that this is just what being a boy mom is like.

To be clear, no one knows the son’s intentions when putting thumbtacks into his Nerf bullets. As his mother claimed, it could be a mere impulsive idea he had to stick his bullets to the wall. At the same time, he made something that could potentially hurt someone, and the vast majority of TikTok believes that’s something that warrants a talk, not just a TikTok video with “#boymom.” A lot of the users who expressed concern were people who grew up before the internet was a thing and who would get into all kinds of mischievous antics. However, even though user Raeon admitted to shooting people with paintballs and Roman candles as a kid, he emphasizes that they “NEVER” thought to put thumbtacks into Nerf gun bullets.

He warned users not to immediately “assume the worst.” Instead, he simply wanted to ensure the mother knew the incident was grounds for a talk. He stated, “Come on, man, talk to your boy … ask him why he did it.” Other users shared the sentiment that parents should use situations like this to talk to their children instead of automatically normalizing and defending what they do. One user also tried the son’s invention herself, demonstrating how dangerous these bullets were that could pierce through walls, blinds, and cupboards to diffuse claims that it wasn’t that serious.

A lot of TikTok users made assumptions about the son that were wrong. However, these users correctly encouraged the mother to talk to her son and not just laugh off the incident. Sadly, there’s little evidence that she took the advice, as she released a four-minute video defending her son and claiming he just has an “engineering” mindset.

Again, we don’t know everything that’s going on behind the scenes, so people shouldn’t shame this mother or accuse her son of ill intent. However, the video is fostering many positive conversations about parenting, especially when it comes to boys. Parents need to understand that, regardless of whether their child is a boy or a girl, they can influence them. One mother who responded to the Nerf gun controversy explained how she raised her son to want to make gifts for his classmates and to write apology letters when he fights with his sister. Hands-on parenting is how parents raise sons who are kind and empathetic. Parents who refuse to even talk to their children about concerning incidents and always go back to the “boys will be boys” excuse may be losing significant opportunities to influence their sons positively.