‘What I can only describe as pure degeneracy’: Proud cheater sued for allegedly using ‘cheating coach’ business to bully betrayed spouses

Chelsea Smallwood, a TikTok creator who made being a cheater her entire platform, is now facing a lawsuit after her cheating business shared private information about betrayed spouses to further bully and mock them.

Smallwood started gaining traction on social media for posting “cheating content.” Calling herself the “The Other Woman and the Wife,” she made several viral TikTok videos bragging about her affair. One such video was titled “Things your husband did while he was in an affair with me.” In the video, she dances joyously while bragging about things her cheating partner did, such as going on a trip with her on his and his wife’s anniversary and setting up a secret bank account to hide all the trips and gifts he was buying Smallwood. Smallwood made dozens of similar TikToks, talking unapologetically about her affair and demeaning victims of cheating, claiming it was “relatable affair content.” She eventually decided to turn The Other Woman and the Wife into a business featuring podcasts, retreats, and private communities for cheaters to congregate and exchange tips and resources.

She isn’t the first person to have had the idea of turning cheating into a business or platform. From Smallwood to Ashley Madison to the incessant spotlight on Amy Robach and T. J. Holmes, there have long been pushes to normalize infidelity, provide resources to cheaters, and profit off of affairs. However, normalizing infidelity wasn’t Smallwood’s only mission. She took things to another level when she allegedly attempted to make cyberbullying and harassment of victims of infidelity part of her business, too.

Chelsea Smallwood and her business sued by cheating victim

Part of The Other Woman and The Wife is actually a coaching business. Smallwood, who only has a B.A. in economics, has no qualifications to serve as a life coach or counselor. Yet, her website has an application form in which individuals can get 1:1 coaching with her or her fellow “cheating coaches.” She and her coaches also set up private communities for cheaters to congregate and discuss their affairs openly. One of the “coaches” working with Smallwood is Olivia Nicodeumos, who had an affair with her best friend and neighbor’s husband. Things quickly took an ugly turn when Nicodeumos allegedly began using The Other Woman community to share private information about Kristen Jacobs, the victim of her affair.

Jacobs has filed a lawsuit against The Other Woman and the Wife, LLC, Smallwood, and Nicodeumos, seeking damages after Smallwood and Nicodeumos allegedly used their cheating business to encourage harassment of her. After learning of her husband and Nicodeumos’ affair, Jacobs started researching The Other Woman and the Wife and was horrified when she stumbled on a TikTok reel of Smallwood reading her private text messages about her affair out loud, word for word. In an attempt to find how Smallwood got this information, Jacobs anonymously joined The Other Woman community and saw that Nicodeumos had been posting her private information, including identifying information like her full name, pictures of her and her children, and even disclosed details of private health matters. The information and text messages were allegedly posted publicly so that the cheaters in the community could mock, bully, and harass Jacobs for being a victim.

However, it still gets worse. In the lawsuit, Jacobs claims that Smallwood encouraged Nicodeumos to publicly admit to horrific acts, such as bragging about spying on Jacobs during intimate moments with her husband and using Jacobs’ sex toys on herself without consent. TikTok influencer The Dadvocate summed up the lawsuit best, stating that Smallwood, Nicodeumos, and their company are being sued for “what I can only describe as pure degeneracy.”

The Dadvocate also noted how internet sleuths may be integral to the lawsuit. Following the suit, Smallwood wiped her TikTok and has been trying to rebrand. However, she didn’t act quickly enough as users found evidence supporting Jacobs’ claims. They found a public comment from Nicodeumos offering to give a user “comparison photos” to prove she was better looking than Jacobs, as well as a comment from Smallwood in which she claims to have contacted Jacobs’ therapist and been told she was “a useless cause.”

Smallwood has already filed a response to the lawsuit and is attempting to move it out of arbitration. The Dadvocate speculated she wants a public trial to further humiliate Jacobs. The incident has gained much attention on TikTok and renewed conversations about influencers and companies that try to turn infidelity into a business.

It’s not necessarily wrong to acknowledge that infidelity in relationships can be far more complex than it seems on the surface. However, the Smallwood situation demonstrates that there should be a limit. Attempting to raise awareness for the complexity of some cases of infidelity is very different from outright glorifying cheating and encouraging cheaters to be unapologetic for unnecessary and harmful actions. Additionally, as proud as Smallwood and Nicodeumos claim to be about their affairs, their alleged actions suggest they’re, on the contrary, deeply ashamed, insecure, and unfathomably jealous. They’re hardly the people who should be coaching cheating spouses if they themselves are still so clearly insecure in their affair relationships.