A woman’s odd attempt to insult her ex’s ‘vanilla’ wife backfires terribly
A woman tried to take a weird jab at her unidentified ex’s “vanilla wife.” Now she’s gunning for the cringiest TikTok of 2025 and will probably become the poster child of “pick me” psychology.
For those unfamiliar, the term “pick me” is usually applied to women who constantly feel the need to put other women down in their attention-seeking mission. While the term “pick me” has been weaponized against women and wrongfully applied to many, there are few other terms to describe a select group of women who see other women solely as competition. I see these women as victims of the patriarchy who have been thoroughly convinced that their worth is inextricably tied to men. Hence, they feel the need to constantly prove or reiterate that they’re wanted and desired by all men, even those with other partners. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with women being confident in themselves and seeing themselves as desirable. Where it becomes a problem is when they start trying to articulate that other women are less desirable than them. This is where the “vanilla wife” insult/trend originated.
A few years ago, women started sharing TikToks “insulting” their exes’ wives by calling them “vanilla,” a term usually used to describe people who have more traditional attitudes toward sex. They insist that all their exes are thinking about them and their kinky attitudes while unhappily married to their “vanilla” wife. Recently, a TikToker decided to try to bring back the trend, only to have it backfire miserably.
TikToker goes viral for trying to revive cringey “vanilla wife” trend
A TikToker who goes by Chena Moore tried to revive the vanilla wife trend. In a video set to Doechii’s “Anxiety,” Moore dances while balancing on two stools with a baseball cap pulled over her eyes. However, the part that caught viewers’ attention was the unusual caption. Moore wrote, “Might not be the one you marry, but I’m 100% the girl you’ll think about at 2 AM, lying next to your vanilla a** wife with the personality of paint drying, wondering if I ever stopped being a feral rat.”
Moore’s video instantly went viral, garnering over 10 million views. However, reactions were largely negative. Her video is presumably directed at an ex or is, perhaps, just a general message to every past partner she’s had. It assumes that all of these men have “vanilla” and “boring” wives that they dislike so much that they’re stuck thinking about the …. uh … feral rat … from the past. She’s not just trying to insult her exes’ partners but all women who she considers “vanilla.” Suggesting that women are less worthy or likable depending on their sexual preferences is just so absurd. Moore can totally be confident in her personality and brag about being a “feral rat” without having to add this cruel addendum that if women aren’t like her, they’re “vanilla” and “boring,” and their husbands want someone else.
Her video sparked countless parodies and sit-down videos describing its problematic nature. TikTok user @economyvodka offered an intriguing breakdown on “pick me psychology.” She explained the numerous damaging ideas that this TikTok encompasses. It insinuates men aren’t “autonomous” beings and have no choice in who they marry or that the sole thing they value in women is their sexuality. So many women, from Taylor Swift to Kylie Jenner to Jada Pinkett Smith, face so much hatred and harassment for simply being in a relationship because misogynists adhere to this ideal that it’s impossible for a man to love a woman for who she is, and that men deserve pity for being in happy, healthy relationships. These “pick me” TikToks and “vanilla wife” trends play right into and promote that same idea.
Fortunately, TikTok proved it will not bring back the “vanilla wife” trend. Instead of taking Moore’s video seriously, countless users hilariously used it as parody content. Some of the parodies have gone even more viral than the original.
While the video has mostly become parody fodder, it has sparked some meaningful conversations about the “vanilla wife” trend and “pick me psychology.” Ultimately, the adverse reaction reminds people to think twice before they post on TikTok, trying to tear women down or insult them based on their sexuality. It’s time that we move away from the idea that women’s worth is tied to sexuality or that men just loving and being happy with their wives is some obscure concept.
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