It’s been about half a year since Fire Emblem: Engage released, and there’s been quite a bit of discussion surrounding it. Fans of the franchise were wondering where it would go after the groundbreaking entry Three Houses. And since it’s been half a year, there’s been some renewed interest lately, especially since one of Engage‘s best selling points is its accessibility to new players.
I will admit that, while fun, Engage didn’t leave quite as much of an impression on me as Three Houses did. The same can be said of its romance options. However, credit where credit’s due, Engage raised the bar significantly in allowing same-sex romance all across the board. That’s pretty groundbreaking as far as JRPGs go!
Of course, not all characters are romanceable, nor are many of them above the age of 18 (gross). So! The following characters are therefore all romantic in nature, while also being above the age of consent, and are ranked from Amber to worst to best.
21. Amber
I specifically phrased this ranking with Amber’s name in mind because he sucks. He plainly sucks. His design is fine, but it’s wasted on a stooge of a man who only cares about alpacas. He only made this list because Alear—for some inexplicable reason—seems down, and that is in fact a ring on his ring finger. Ugh. Couldn’t be me.
20. Timerra
Timerra is a colorful, interesting character, but not a great romance option since she herself isn’t really romantic. And that’s fine! I like that she can stand on her own and wants to do her own thing. It’s just that, compared to the other entries on this list, Timerra seems like she couldn’t care less about dating Alear.
19. Jade
Miss Reader Girl is similarly nonchalant about romance, although she gets bonus points for writing a book about Alear. There’s a softy underneath that tank veneer.
18. Zelkov
This romance basically boils down to Alear helping this freaky deaky gent figure out his purpose. Cute in theory, horrendous in practice. This is every twentysomething woman’s reality at some point or another, so … no thanks, I’ve had my fill.
17. Chloé
Miss Ma’am is a dreamer, so if Alear didn’t come along professing their feelings, someone else would have and it wouldn’t have made much of a difference to Chloé. She just wants a boo, period.
16. Diamant
Okay, this one hurts me because I romanced Diamant, but I gotta admit, I only did so because he’s my age and he looks like Sylvain from Three Houses. This is otherwise a pretty tip-toe-y romance that has more undertones than anything else.
15. Lapis
Lapis almost got placed higher, if not for the fact that Engage leaned into one of her gimmicks a little too hard. We get it, you’re a farmer and you like to craft. Whatever. She is cute, though.
14. Bunet
It might seem hypocritical to place Bunet above Lapis since he also relies pretty heavily on a gimmick, but dear god, the man is smooth with it. Squarely mid. Yes, chef.
13. Saphir
Did you know that Saphir is only 35? Despite looking like she’s got three grandchildren, she is, in fact, a 35-year-old woman. Props to Alear for being down bad horrendous in this support.
12. Boucheron
The Bouche outlives his usefulness as a unit pretty early, but this support is actually very sweet. We love a big-chested emotional king.
11. Goldmary
I was very tempted to place Goldmary lower because she was a little too horny and annoying. However, her romance wraps up pretty nicely and adds some depth to her character.
10. Mauvier
Now we’re getting to the good stuff. Fans of silver foxes will definitely enjoy Mauvier’s romance … although again, he’s only 45, but at least he looks age-appropriate. Anyways. You’d think a 45-year-old wouldn’t stutter over his feelings like a teenager, but I guess that’s part of the charm.
9. Panette
Panette is a sleeper hit in this game. Her design is ridiculous—quite literally clownish—but her backstory? The way it ties into her romance? Chef’s kiss. This girl needs a hug.
8. Merrin
Miss Merrin was the sapphic queen of the game and I loved every support she was in, but her romance with Alear is especially tingly. Even if it starts out stupid. (Which seems to be the MO for this game.)
7. Ivy
We could all tell by Ivy’s design that she’d be a fan-favorite, but I personally found her hero worship for Alear a little extra. At least it ends nicely. She also needs a hug.
6. Pandreo
While, yes, Pandreo also had some Alear-worship going on, he gets extra points for being a slutty party priest with a soft, tender heart. Love that. All my favorite tropes in one guy with a dumb haircut.
5. Kagetsu
Kaggy gets major points not just for being a fantastic sword unit, but also for being a sweetie who is very upfront about his feelings. It’s refreshing in a game that otherwise tiptoes around genuine conversations.
4. Yunaka
Now this is where the ranking gets tough. Yunaka was one of the most compelling characters in this game, by far, and her romance is mostly tied with her story of self-development. Not everyone’s cup of tea, but worthy of praise for the writing alone. Zappy!
3. Alfred
It’s unfortunate that Alfred is such a spongy unit, because he’s also one of the best characters in the game, and his romance is almost sickeningly sweet. He loves Alear so much, dude. He also lives a longer life if you romance him, so … yeah.
2. Seadall
Uhm … yeah, I dunno, Seadall is incredibly hot and this romance is superbly sensual for a game like this. He only loses out to Louis on a technicality.
1. Louis
And that technicality is … Louis’ voice actor, J. Michael Tatum, is married to Alear’s male voice actor, Brandon McInnis, in real life. Obviously, the romance is highly romantic, delightful, affectionate, and etc. aside from that, but this little fun fact is just the icing on the cake that pushes Louis to the front. We love a king who never opens his eyes for any reason whatsoever. Sleepy king supremacy.
(featured image: Nintendo)
Published: Jul 28, 2023 06:28 pm