All of the ‘Mass Effect’ Games Ranked From Best To Worst

Oh Mass Effect, how we love you. You’ve got it all. You’re part RPG, part space opera, and part intergalactic dating sim rolled into one beautiful trilogy (yes, I know about Andromeda, I’ll get to it). At your best, you shine as bright as The Milky Way. At your worst… well, sigh.

Here are all of the Mass Effect games ranked from best to worst.

1. Mass Effect 2

Does this come as a surprise? It shouldn’t. You gave us your all here, sweet Mass Effect 2. You took our criticisms from Mass Effect 1, and my God, you dove head first into self-improvement. You gave us everything. A thrilling story full of twists, turns, and the terror of the Reaper threat? Check. An exciting, innovative combat system that required brain-tickling tactical decisions? Double check. A team of gorgeous three-dimensional characters to hook up…I mean…fight with as we stormed the final enemy stronghold at the center of the galaxy? Check. Check. CHECK.

You gave us Grunt, Jack, Thane, and Legion, some of the finest characters to ever grace our screens. We fell in love with them all, Mass Effect 2. We are head over heels. Pop the question, it’s gonna be a yes.

2. Mass Effect 3

Oh Mass Effect 3, you were good. Really good. You were amazing. You improved upon an already impeccable battle system, you made us cry in the opening scene, and you didn’t stop jerking tears from us until the very end. But…speaking of the end, the end was a problem. And I think we all know it. You didn’t end as strongly as we wanted you to. It was a letdown, but the journey getting there was beautiful.

We spearheaded the armies of the galaxy in a glorious crusade against our foes, we got rip-roaringly drunk on the Citadel with all of our friends (if we bought the DLC that is, and by God, we did), and we fought a reaper by ourselves. You gave us goosebumps from the word “go.’

3. Mass Effect

Mass Effect 1, you were our first love. You were clunky and awkward, but whose first time isn’t? You were a breath of sweet summer air in a gaming industry that had left us cold. You brought us into your world and we fell, hard. We were hooked from the second we saw that first fuzzy image of a Reaper ship laying waste to Eden Prime. You stole our hearts with Garrus Vakarian, our favorite Turian boyfriend. You gave us the option to kill Ashley, which many of us took with relish. You weren’t perfect, but you were still growing into yourself. Like a gangly teenage boyfriend who picked us up for prom in a suit that was a little too big, you were a bit of a dork, but you grew into the sexy beast we knew you could become.

4. Mass Effect: Andromeda

Andromeda, girl….what happened? You had the perfect opportunity to sweep us off our feet. We were giddy with excitement. You were going to show up at our place at 7 in your spaceship and whisk us away to a brand new galaxy! But when we got there it was…eh. Your combat was substandard, your mission designs were a mess, and your characters frankly lacked the charisma, charm, and heart-palpitating sex appeal of your earlier games. Look, Andromeda, I think we have to break up. And I’m sorry to say it’s not us, it’s you.

(featured image: Bioware/EA)