Alpha in the Streets, Sigma in the Sheets

A simple question was asked on Twitter, one that remains one of life’s greatest mysteries, and one that shall continue to make us Winona Ryder at the SAG Awards for all of eternity. This question introduced us to the Sigma male.

What the fuck is going on with men pic.twitter.com/3x1ZI20HCF

— Lily Simpson (@LilySimpson1312) January 25, 2021

via GIPHY

I suppose, as a professional or whatever, I should explain what the whole alpha male thing is all about when it comes to men.

All this because somebody misread a book from the 70’s about wolves peeing on each other

— Raul Pudd (@DanielMadison78) January 25, 2021

a reminder that the scientist who coined the term ‘alpha male’ to describe wolves abandoned it as useless years ago https://t.co/zmqDdUMGpb pic.twitter.com/MeaFZG4Yei

— Saladin Ahmed (@saladinahmed) October 12, 2016

There. Explanation complete. There’s no show of dominance via sticking out your rain-soaked chesticles or having a big peen or becoming the champion of Mortal Kombat, which makes the whole alpha-male top dog woof woof mentality hilariously outdated.

It still persists, though, and is as heteronormative as ever, but now there’s a … Sigma?

TO BE FAIR (I guess) the book pictured in that tweet from Lily Simpson is from 2017 so I guess (?) the notion of a Sigma (??) isn’t new (???). Here’s the synopsis, courtesy of the Amazon listing:

Countless books promise to save your marriage, but none recognizes the actual cause of marital strife. As a result, Modern Men are misinformed about what women really want. Without an understanding of the true problem, it is impossible to implement a solution.

The Sigma Male Reveals:

· Why you can’t make your wife happy, no matter how hard you try

· The real reason your wife is unhappy and why she can’t explain it to you

· Why it’s not your job to make your wife happy and what your real duty is

· Why your marriage problems are the same as everyone else’s

· The single, common need that men and women share

· Why neither Alpha nor Modern Men can provide what women want

· The simple skillset that helps you become what your wife really wants.

Uh. Yeah. Before I try and decipher all of that with my woman brain, we must ask ourselves, what is a Sigma? Well, from what I can gather from the images in Simpson’s tweet and this charming book description, a Sigma is basically an Alpha who doesn’t play by the rules. A Sigma isn’t into the whole social construct of A/B/O (hee hee), whereas the Alpha very much is, which is why the Alpha fails. The Sigma, on the other hand, succeeds, because the Sigma recognizes their place in the hierarchy yet also defies that placement.

Basically, a Sigma is that dude, Chad, who’s like, “Yeah men totally suck, anyway, wanna grab a coffee and talk shit about the patriarchy and how we must work to shatter the glass ceiling?”

A Sigma has BLM in their Twitter handle.

A Sigma would’ve voted for Obama a third time.

I’m kinda tripping over, well, a lot of what the book is supposed to reveal, particularly the “it’s not your job to make your wife happy” bit since the synopsis screams here’s what your wife wants dingbat. Then again, apparently, she can’t even explain her unhappiness so it’s understandable that Alphas and Modern Men don’t get it.

But Sigmas do.

None of this matters though since, again, the whole alpha male thing is wolf poop, so the only thing we can really do with this information is introduce it into the world of A/B/O, and honestly, there’s no better way to interpret it.

Can you imagine your headcanon Alpha going up against your headcanon Sigma? You KNOW that Sigma is gonna slide right into the “best friend who offers a shoulder to cry on and a dick to hop on when the Omega’s Alpha is being a jerk.” You might think that the Beta already takes this position, but I feel like a Beta has more common sense than to claim someone an Alpha’s already marked. A Beta’s that good best friend, an actual source of genuine comfort that involves ice cream and late-night movies.

Sigmas, since they’re just like Alphas, are definitely trying to get their dicks slicked.

Or maybe your headcanon says that the sweet, doe-eyed Omega can have BOTH the Alpha and the Sigma. It’s 2021 so why the hell not?

Then again, part of that description describes a Sigma as a lone wolf, so the Sigma probably doesn’t even want a mate. Not a steady one, anyway. So the Sigma would attempt to give the Alpha tips on how to keep their Omega satisfied, which the Alpha would deny needing … before implementing them anyway.

Who’s gonna be your go-to Sigma? Are they gonna stick to that lone wolf ideology or is there an Omega out there for them? Maybe they desire an Alpha? Is it taboo to have an Alpha/Sigma pairing? I mean Sigma’s don’t follow the hierarchy so do they even care if it is taboo?

There are so many wonderful headcanons at the ready now that the Sigma is on deck. Thank you, men following outdated dynamics, this is truly a gift to us all.

new male just dropped pic.twitter.com/C61Oe3Fsmc

— Xalavier Nelson Jr. (@WritNelson) January 23, 2021

(Image: Netflix/Crunchyroll)

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