So ya like attacking titans, do ya?
Punks like you make my stomach do somersaults. What’d those innocent titans ever do to you? Do you think that just because they’re big, naked, and like to eat people means that you have the right to be their judge, jury, and executioner? How would you like it if one day you’re walking around in the sun, minding your own business eatin’ somebody, and then BAM someone comes up behind you and chops you in the neck?
I don’t think you would like it, would you?
I think if you can learn to take out your violent impulses on a different kind of fictional monster, there might just be hope for you. So I came up with a list of anime like Attack on Titan in order to do just that.
Chainsaw Man
Chainsaw Man is, well, about a man who can turn into a chainsaw. Alright, it’s a little more complicated, but that’s the basic idea. He vents all of his rage on the no good devils that are plaguing humanity. Maybe if you focused more on getting excited to kill the evil creatures of the underworld you’d leave those poor titans alone.
Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress
How about you pick on someone your own size? And in this case, a monster that is smaller than a titan. Not enough of a challenge? Well, what if I told you there are hordes of monsters in Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress that make the titan hordes seem like a couple of old ladies playing cribbage at the rec center? These monsters are zombies made of iron. And a couple of steampunk goons have to figure out a way to kill ’em. If you love those steam-powered grappling hooks from AoT, I’m sure you’ll get buck wild for this one.
Castlevania
Not satisfied with zombies? Castlevania gives you a cornucopia of monsters that you can slay. Vampires. Night creatures. Cyclopses. Hell, even death itself. You’ll be infinitely entertained by the menagerie of killable creatures this series has to offer. And this show is gory. I know how much you love gore, you weird little freak. Otherwise, you wouldn’t even be watching AoT. Combine that with some top-notch voice acting and a killer story and it’s bound to keep someone as bloodthirsty as you entertained for a little while.
Claymore
So you like killing things that eat people, huh? Just not the same otherwise? I thought so. You titan killer types are all the same. Well, lucky for you, I have the perfect monsters to which I can direct your murderous attention. They’re called Yoma. They eat people. And they shape-shift to do it. Claymore is about a wandering warrior named Clare who is sponsored by the Claymore Organization to kill Yoma. I’m sure you could get a sponsorship too. Killing is things that “ate your family” or whatever is what you do best.
Berserk
Tell you what, there wouldn’t even be titans without Berserk. Attack on Titan simply wouldn’t exist, and you could instead invest your murderous impulses into something constructive. Like gardening? There are lots of weeds to kill. The main character of Berserk is somewhat of a weedkiller himself, if weeds were covered in eyes and teeth and tried to devour everything in sight. See, the protagonist Guts doesn’t even need fancy gear to kill giant monsters. All he uses is a 500-pound hunk of iron that some would call a “sword.” Why don’t you get a gym membership and follow in his footsteps?
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Why focus your attention on killing things native to the planet you’re already on, when you could kill things from space? That’s right: bonafide aliens. Well, sort of aliens. They’re called “angels” and they might actually be somewhat divine in origin but you get what I mean. The hero of Neon Genesis Evangelion gets to pilot a giant mech suit in order to fight these city destroying angels. I mean, I guess Eren Jaeger does that too, but his titan form is really more of a “flesh suit,” which sounds way grosser. That’s probably why you like it, isn’t it?
The Promised Neverland (season 1)
Why dedicate your time to killing something that eats fully grown adults who are responsible for their own choices? The Promised Neverland is about a group of super-smart kids who are being raised on a farm to be fed to demons. Except they don’t know that. They think they’re at an orphanage. But then they find out and make a downright ingenious plan to escape.
Vinland Saga
Vinland Saga is about people who kill people. In the real world. This series is about a young Viking who goes on a revenge quest to track down and kill his father’s murderer. It’s right up your alley. You love killing for revenge, don’t you? Just like Eren Jaeger himself. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of violence in this series, so your bloodlust will be sated from start to finish.
Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood
Unlike you, who goes around fighting something that has the intelligence of a bar of soap, these kids are expending their energy fighting an enemy capable of political subterfuge. Alright, I guess there’s a lot of that in Attack on Titan too, but maybe that’s why you’ll like it. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood is about two kids with a dead mom (just like your favorite character Eren Jaeger) who go on a quest to save their kingdom from a deadly political plot. Plus there’s magic. I’d like to see your friend Eren Jaeger pull a rabbit out of a hat.
Parasyte: The Maxim
So you wanna become the monster so you can kill the monster, do you? Well, in the world of Parasyte: The Maxim you get to do exactly that. See, these monsters are extraterrestrial in nature, and they eat people’s heads and then control their bodies while blending in with other humans. It’s science fiction and horror, something that I’m sure an Attack on Titan fan like you will die for. This series is also quite gross and gory. Hopefully, it will traumatize you enough to abhor violence in all its forms. But I don’t have that much faith in you.
Dororo
Are you into Attack on Titan solely for the monster-killing? Dororo is for you! The anime is about a transmasculine orphan in Japan’s Warring States period who encounters a boy named Hyakkimaru who is on a quest to slay demons. What did the demons ever do to Hyakkimaru? Well, they stole his body parts for one thing! It’s not entirely the demons’ fault. Hyakkimaru’s deadbeat dad sold the demons his own son’s parts in exchange for political power. Now the boy is on the hunt to get his real limbs back by using fake limbs full of knives!
Demon Slayer
Are you afraid that no fight scenes will ever be as beautifully animated as they are in Attack on Titan? Let Demon Slayer change your mind! Ufotable studio has produced some of the most breathtaking anime fights in recent memory for this series, and they are a bloody joy to watch. What’s the plot? It’s written on the tin. A young boy living in turn of the century Japan had his family were murdered by demons … so he’s gonna slay ’em back.
Jujutsu Kaisen
Yay! More “become the monster to fight monsters”-style plots! Jujutsu Kaisen centers around the knuckle-headed Yuji Itadori, who becomes possessed by a powerful demonic sorcerer after eating one of said sorcerer’s dried, dead fingers. Gross. Now she gets to go to a magical ghost-hunting school in order to learn the tricks of the trade for dealing with pesky Cursed Spirits. If only Eren Jaeger and his friends got to go to wizard school instead of having to … join the army.
Hellsing Ultimate
Not a fan of plot, are you? Just here for the violence? Hellsing Ultimate has you covered. The series centers around the exploits of the gunslinging vampire Alucard and his anti-heroic attempts to snuff out evil from the world. What could be more evil than a blood-drinking vampire? Blood-drinking Nazi vampires. Even a morally bankrupt soul like Alucard knows that being a Nazi is the most heinous thing in existence … and he and his friends Smith and Wesson have something to say about that.
(featured image: MAPPA)
Published: Sep 13, 2023 02:05 pm