Behold the Brand-New Steam Awards, From “Villain Most In Need Of A Hug” to “Best Use of a Farm Animal”

Steam has announced the winners of their inaugural Steam Awards, in which players voted for the best games in a series of oh-so-serious categories. While the description for each award often speaks to a game’s actual virtues–its emotional impact, its staying power, its addictive gameplay–Steam and its customers clearly had a lot of fun coming up with these names. (You can see some of the more ridiculous suggested categories and nominees here.)

Perhaps unsurprisingly, most of the winners are highly active titles, like Portal 2, Skyrim, and Grand Theft Auto V. Below is a list of the winners, but you can see the runners-up and full award descriptions on Steam’s announcement page.

• “Villain Most In Need Of A Hug” Award: Portal 2
  (Does this really need explaining?)
• The “I Thought This Game Was Cool Before It Won An Award” Award: Euro Truck Simulator 2
  (For the game that makes you say “you totally found it first.”)
• The “Test of Time” Award: The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
  (For “the game that is just as good today as the day you first played it”)
• The “Just 5 More Minutes” Award: Counter-Strike: Global Offensive
  (For “the game that keeps you playing late”)
• The “Whoooaaaaaaa, dude!” Award: Grand Theft Auto V
  (“This game BLOWS YOUR MIND”)
• The “Game Within A Game” Award: Grand Theft Auto V
  (“The best mini game hidden within another game”)
• The “I’m Not Crying, There’s Something In My Eye” Award: The Walking Dead
  (“The game that blindsided you emotionally”)
• The “Best Use Of A Farm Animal” Award: Goat Simulator
  (“This game used a farm animal in the best way possible”)
• The “Boom Boom” Award: DOOM
  (“These games understand the fine art of detonation”)
• The “Love/Hate Relationship” Award: Dark Souls III
  (“These games are punishing gauntlets that make you question your very skill”)
• The “Sit Back and Relax” Award: Euro Truck Simulator 2
  (The “opposite” of the Love/Hate Relationship)
• The “Better With Friends” Award: Left 4 Dead 2
  (“Some games…just aren’t the same when you play by yourself”)

Which awards categories would you propose for the Second Steam Awards? Get those good ideas ready for next year.

(Via Kotaku, image via screengrab from Valve)

Want more stories like this? Become a subscriber and support the site!

—The Mary Sue has a strict comment policy that forbids, but is not limited to, personal insults toward anyone, hate speech, and trolling.—

Follow The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google+.