You know, I like to think I’m a hot girl, world superstar, etc. etc., and that just being alive is my claim to fame. But honestly, my real claim to fame is that time Raymond the cat showed up on my Animal Crossing island organically and I got him to live with me. Oh, after all the hubbub surrounding this heterochromatic cat, I invited him purely out of curiosity. But in the end, curiosity killed that damn cat. The vibes were rancid. I mean, my man lived in a cubicle and only talked about how smart he was. He was a total drag to be around, and honestly, I couldn’t even get behind his design until I gave him a baby’s onesie. And even then, the vibes were still rancid!
The way that people rally behind various Animal Crossing villagers is hilarious to me, because like anything else, it seems to largely revolve around trends. But these villagers aren’t really that different from one another! They have a design gimmick that gets coupled with a pre-made personality, it ain’t that deep.
THAT BEING SAID … yes, some are better than others, purely because their combinations work on an astronomically fun level. I fully anticipate some of you will be angry at me for not including your blorbo, but hey, like anything else, your Nook Mileage may vary. Here are the best villagers to get all neighborly with in Animal Crossing.
8. Hazel
Honestly, it’s the unibrow that sells this sassy squirrel for me. There are a lot of severely bitchy villagers you can encounter, but something about Hazel’s eternal stank face really just makes her peak. Imagine this bitch coming up to you and telling you that your teeth look like they haven’t been brushed in years.
My god, I don’t think I could recover. My queen.
7. Erik
I often see Erik and Beau paired together as the soft boy, queer-adjacent, sweater-deer power-couple. But if I had to pick one over the other, then come on, it’s Erik no question.
Oh, sure, Beau has sleepy eyes and a dreamy way about him, but Erik is just the sweetest little guy. I’ve never had an unpleasant interaction with this moosey boy, and his sweaters are too cute to be true. Plus, I like the fact that we share comically thick eyebrows.
6. Dobie
I mean, come on y’all, he’s a grampa. He’s a sweet, lovable, crusty lil’ grampa. He lives in an office full of books and novel manuscripts. He wears sensible sweaters and vests, and he’s always telling you to get inside before you catch a cold.
I love my wolf grampa. And you should, too—don’t think I don’t know that you haven’t returned his calls, young lady. Give him an aroo when you get the chance, won’t you?
5. Nana
She’s PINK and a MONKEY, she likes to READ and WEAR GLASSES, she’s NANA!
I hear so much Nana slander where people call her a “discount Midge,” and um???? Midge is one of those fake meek freaks who throws a hissy fit over how your bad mood is making them feel uncomfortable. But Nana? Nana is just out here being a sweetie, taking long walks and talking about her favorite books. I’m absolutely biased as she’s my personal favorite villager, but even when I try to remove my biases, I can’t help but find her to be nothing short of perfect. Nana Gang til the day I die.
4. Marshal
Of all the heavily woobified villagers, I think Marshal works the best. He doesn’t operate on some lame ass, easily-marketable gimmick. He’s just a little guy with a lot of opinions, and hey, aren’t we all? (If you’re over 5’2, you’re not allowed to reply to this, and also how dare you.)
Marshal’s vibe is just so pungent, but in the best way possible. He’s like that guy in the friend group who’s always full of mirth, a touch of whimsy, if you will. You can’t really trust them. You can’t leave your things out around them. But a life without them isn’t much of a life at all, no?
3. Bob
((No one’s around to help.))
For real though, Bob is iconic, and everything about him works with such harmony. He’s such a shithead, both in presentation and execution. He’s like the Beavis and Butthead of this franchise. And what’s with that Hawaiian shirt, Bob my boy? You a Jimmy Buffet fan? Of course you are, why did we expect anything less.
2. Audie
Of all the new villagers introduced in New Horizons, Audie was BY FAR my favorite. She’s the valley girl queen of my dreams, a gorgeous superstar with a tiki-bar-themed chateau and no end of sundresses to wear as she strolls along the beach.
Plus, out of all the pop-star villagers, I’ve found that Audie is generally the most fun. She’s so expressive and joyful, and despite being a wolf, she can be delightfully catty. I love this girl with all my heart.
The real kicker, though, is that she was named after a diehard elderly fan of the series. My god. Heart eyes.
1. Rosie
There are lots of iconic cats that could easily make this list—Kiki and Tangy come to mind—but I’ve heard and seen the most love for little miss Rosie, who was with us since Day 1. I’ve never met the girl myself, but I can’t help but be fond of her by proxy.
I mean, look at her little dimples. Neaww. Rosie is an icon who deserves the top spot. We love you, lil cat.
(Featured Image: Nintendo)
Published: Oct 24, 2022 05:50 pm