Reality is overwhelming. That’s why some very smart people came together to make TV!
When it comes to ignoring our nation’s creeping backslide into authoritarian rule, I can’t think of any better way to drown out the existential dread than with the boob tube! Just don’t make the mistake of turning on the news. But if you do, don’t panic! All you need to do is take a deep breath and change the channel. You’ll be fine. Just comfort yourself by thinking about how much money you saved with one of these early Black Friday TV deals. Just think, now you can invest that extra cash into building your very own End Times Underground Bunker. You might need it. And best of all, you can stick a TV down there too!
Deals Quick List
- LG C4 65-Inch – 45% off at Amazon
- TCL 98-Inch QM85 – 33% off at Amazon
- SAMSUNG 85-Inch Class QLED 4 – 44% off at Amazon
- 85-inch Samsung DU7200 – 18% off at Best Buy
- TCL Q68 85-inch – 33% off at Amazon
- LG QNED85T 75-inch – 20% off at Amazon
- Samsung Q70D 85-inch – 35% off at Amazon
- Sony X90L 98-inch – 38% off at Amazon
- TCL 40-Inch – 20% off at Amazon
1. LG C4 65-Inch
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as $2,699.99now $1,496.99 - View Deal at Amazon
The LG C4 65-Inch is 65 inches of escapism rendered across LG’s signature OLED technology! 8 million self-lit pixels combine in an illustrious digital show that will hijack your brainwaves far and away from the pits of existential dread and into flights of flatscreen fancy! With this thing’s powerful Dolby Atmos surround sound, you’ll be able to drown out all those creeping whispers of doubt and despair! Even the ones in your own mind! And at 45% off, you’ll save around $1300 on this bad boy, meaning you only have to shell out $1,496.99! About the price of rent for a single bedroom in any major American city, but under this new administration, sky’s the limit!
2. TCL 98-Inch QM85
was $5,999.99now $3,998- View Deal at Amazon
With the money that you’ll save on this TCL 98-Inch QM85, you’ll be raising your fist in triumphant victory just like the football player pictured on the screen. How much money? Around $2,000 much money! Still doesn’t put you anywhere near football star tax bracket, but this is America, baby! It was never gonna happen! With this thing’s 4K UltraHD Resolution, you can turn to the news and see the exact moment the hope leaves the eyes of everyone who thought that 2024 would leave America just a little bit better than she found it.
3. SAMSUNG 85-Inch Class QLED 4
was $3,197.99now $1,797.99- View Deal at Amazon
With this SAMSUNG 85-Inch TV, you’ll save 44%, rounding out this puppy’s price tag to $1,798. At 85 inches, this thing is so big that you could use it to barricade a door or window in the event of total societal collapse! And with its Dolby surround sound, you’ll be able to hear all the gory details of the current political situation reflected around you in three dimensions! That’s three more dimensions than any of us were hoping for in this current reality!
4. 85 inch Samsung DU7200
was $1,099.99now $899.99- View Deal at Best Buy
The 85″ Samsung DU7200 will allow you to save $200 for a total price of $900! Don’t spend it all in one place! And by that I mean you’re gonna have to spread it around for rent, groceries, health insurance, car payments, child care, and God forbid any medical bills! It’ll just about clean you out, so you’ll be happy that you saved. Then you can bask in the glow of this TV’s cinema sized screen with 4k resolution and Dolby Vision HDR and try not to think about next month when you’ve gotta pay all those pesky bills again!
5. TCL Q68 85-inch
was $1,499.99now $999.99- View Deal at Amazon
The TCL Q68 85-inch is a big old honker of a TV that can be yours for a neat grand! You’ll save around $500! Which will probably equate to the price of insulin in a few years if current economic trends continue! Thankfully this thing’s powerful Dolby Vision and Dolby Atmos capabilities will give you all the support you need in this challenging times! And best of all, this thing is actually capable of receiving voice commands! It can sure turn off and on at a word, but answering questions like “How could this have happened?” or “Why, God, why?” won’t be so simple, even for a piece of technology as advanced as this.
6. LG QNED85T 75-inch
was $1,246.95now $996.99- View Deal at Amazon
The LG QNED85T 75-inch is another great midrange option available to you for only one grand! You’ll save $250 on this baby, which is a low-end estimate price for your monthly student loan payment you’ve been putting off paying off. The cavalry isn’t coming. There aren’t any student loan forgiveness plans on the horizon in this political climate. With the savings you’ll earn from the LG QNED85T 75-inch, you’ll have to save yourself. At least it’s got a 120Hz refresh rate, so you can watch any and all economic downturns plummet with smooth, crisp 4K motion.
7. Samsung Q70D 85-inch
was $2,597.99now $1,697.99- View Deal at Amazon
The Samsung Q70D 85-inch is a great option for anyone looking to save $900! With Black Friday deals, the total price of this baby has gone down to $1700. Still sounds too steep? Just consider the perks of this particular TV. This guy has a a built-in blue light filter to reduce eye strain, so you don’t hurt your eyes staring into the abyss of the 24 hour news cycle in mounting horror. Oh, and it’s got built in voice controls. But try not to mutter “this is the end, this is the end, this is the end” too much to yourself while watching. The Samsung Q70D 85-inch won’t know what you mean, even if I do.
8. Sony X90L 98-inch
was $7,999.99now $4,998- View Deal at Amazon
Woaaahhhh hey big spender! The Sony X90L 98-inch caught your eye? Sounds like you’re in another tax bracket entire! This HDR monstrosity is a cinema sized TV set that can be yours for the not so low, low price of $5000! Considering that this thing normally goes for around $8000, that’s none too shabby! Then again, if you’re the type who can drop five grand on a TV, what’s an extra three to you? And if you’re a gamer, this TV was practically made for you. It has special compatibility with the PS5, allowing you to have a buttery smooth gaming experience with its VRR technology – reject this reality and substitute a digital one!
9. TCL 40-Inch
was $189.99now $139.99- View Deal at Amazon
For everyone who can’t afford to drop multiple hundos (or grandos) on a TV, the TCL S3 40-inch is for YOU. I say that with all the pointing emphasis of the football player pictured on the screen. The TCL 40-Inch can be all yours for $140, letting you save $50! If the new regime decides to spark up inflation trends like it did last time, that $50 should just about cover the cup of coffee and avocado toast that economic experts are always telling you not to buy. Boomers know best, apparently. Hence the economy.
Published: Nov 15, 2024 02:48 pm