There Are So Many Cool Items in the Hollywood Strike Auction but We’re Most Obsessed With the Fake Ones

It’s hard to believe the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes are still going on. Although some smaller studios have met the extremely reasonable demands of the unions, the AMPTP has yet to make moves to end the strike. The longer it drags on, the more support the striking workers need. To help with living costs, including healthcare, celebrities are auctioning off time or small items to fans with the proceeds going to the union charity.

Some of the items are what you would expect from a celebrity charity auction, like a signed apron from The Bear or a fedora owned by legendary musician Tom Waits. Other things border on strange, yet they are very exciting. For a winning bid, Natasha Lyonne will help you solve a crossword! Or Adam Scott will walk your dog. John Lithgow will paint a picture of your dog for the right price.

These are so fun and are for a good cause. Yet, as with all things on the internet, hilarious parody auction items have also been flooding our feeds. Let’s look at some of the best ones that we wish were real.

It’s all for a good cause

Some of the highlights of these fictional auction items include a starring contest with Cillian Murphy, Toni Collette yelling at you from across a table, and Mindy Kaling confirming/denying if B.J. Novak is the father of her children. These are things fans desperately want.

I think many folks would pool their money together to know what exactly is going on with David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson.

There are two different listings for getting the behind-the-scenes details about the Don’t Worry Darling drama. One is with Chris Pine, who I think will tell you everything accurately. The other is with Florence Pugh over a “boozy” lunch that sounds like a dream come true.

How many people will chip in to get Vin Diesel to say we are family?

Wow, I might bid on this https://t.co/KxHZoqz9Si pic.twitter.com/kHUI26Q0iI

— Trung Phan (@TrungTPhan) September 15, 2023

Paul Rudd’s skincare routine is worth at least $5k.

omg yes https://t.co/esqTseI1l1 pic.twitter.com/WOkd6JXXDC

— ً (@ruddcomfort) September 15, 2023

I’m not the biggest fan of Ben Affleck, yet I would pay good money to smoke a stress cigarette with him. The meme of him smoking while looking completely done has become an icon of a generation. It would be a chance to recreate history!

Any fan of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia would love to drink with the crew, even though they are awful human beings.

Lord of the Rings fans would have a couple of options to pick from. Like getting a chance to tell Aragorn actor Viggo Mortensen how he broke his toe when he kicked the orc helmet. This would save us time from blurting it out to anyone who will listen. Dominic Monaghan will also shout at you in a fake German accent about wigs.

Fans would love to fall asleep on a Facetime call with Daniel Kaluuya. It would probably be awkward for him, but it’s all for a good cause.

I’ll just write a blank check for Oscar Isaac to read me a bedtime story for three nights in a row.

Or maybe the Pedro Pascal Oscar Isaac combination is a better deal for my money?

Which auction item do you wish were real?

(featured image: 20th Century Fox)