But what IS art? Is it like beauty? In the eye of the beholder? Is it like obscenity? You know it when you see it? Or is it something more elemental? The building blocks of aesthetics? What I mean to say is … is it Legos?
1. The Great Wave
What is it about The Great Wave that makes everyone want it in their home? The majestic curl of the azure, liquid subject for which it is named? Perhaps the peril of the poor boatmen who are cast about in its deadly curve? Or maybe the blank and stoic face of the mountain that looks on in the distance? The Japanese master Hokusai was seriously onto something. Why splash around on a silly beach when you can experience the might of the ocean at home?
2. The Starry Night
The Starry Night! Van Gogh’s most famous painting! His opus, some might say! Admire the flamelike tree rising out of the quiet, countryside village and into that brightdark canvas of night from which the painting takes its name! The Starry Night never fails inspire whist, mystery, and a strange sense of longing in a viewer. The Lego version will do the same, I’m sure.
3. The Milky Way Galaxy
The Milky Way Galaxy! Is not the natural world the greatest masterpiece of all? Is it God’s very own art project? Or perhaps it was painted by the masterful hand of the universe’s physical laws? That’s a question for mathematicians, theologians, and philosophers to ponder! You and I, my dear friend, can do nothing but admire the beauty.
4. Modern Art
Modern Art! It’s so simple that anyone can do it! Modern art’s critics now have the chance to PROVE that even the average person can create a masterpiece. Do it! I dare you! Look! This set has all the necessary random shapes and lines to make a work to stand the test of time! Hang it in the Guggenheim when you’re done. The curators won’t know the difference!
5. The Mona Lisa
Why suffer through the long lines at the Louvre to see Leonardo’s DaVinci’s most famous work when you can have The Mona Lisa at home? Hang it in your breakfast nook and ponder the meaning behind her mysterious smile as you munch your oatmeal. Or maybe in your living room so all of your friends know that there’s more culture in you than a Petri dish.
6. The Amazing Spider-Man
Comic art is art too! Don’t let those art school snobs tell you otherwise! Now you can put The Amazing Spider-Man in the place he spends 95% of his time: on the wall! And look at the way the perspective is handled! It’s like he’s literally crawling out of the frame! Or … wait no the Legos actually ARE coming out of the frame!
7. Jim Lee Batman Collection
The Jim Lee Batman Collection is another piece of comic art for all of you DC fans. This Lego set will allow you to recreate one of the most famous iterations of The Dark Knight, along with The Joker and Harley Quinn! Do paintings let you redo them as easily as this? No! You gotta paint over them and get all oily and messy. Real art is a drag.
8. Bonsai Tree
While some would call botany a science, anyone who has ever owned a bonsai tree knows that there is an art to taking care of the temperamental little guys. If you’re like me and you kill plants just by looking at them, this Lego Bonsai Tree is the perfect way to express your aesthetic appreciation for the natural world with accidentally murdering it.
9. The Rolling Stones Lips
The Rolling Stones Lips, the wet, grotesque monument to one of Mic Jagger’s most distinguishing features can new be yours! Hang it on your walls while bumping “Gimme Shelter” and just imagine that freaky mouth parting while singing “IT’S JUST A SHOT AWAY, IT’S JUST A SHOT AWAY.” Or maybe don’t. That song is disturbing enough as it is.
10. Star Wars – The Sith
Are you called to the darker aspects of art? This Star Wars – The Sith Lego set can help you work out all of your artistic demons. Your vengeful emotions! Your rage! Your capacity for evil! This Lego set will allow you to manifest your inner darkness with the faces of Darth Vader, Darth Maul, and Kylo Ren. Maybe looking at evil helps you find the good inside you? I dunno.
11. Mickey Mouse
Why not celebrate the art that is one of the original animated characters: Mickey Mouse! Dreamed up in the now cryogenically frozen brain of Walt Disney, this little mouse made a massive impact upon the art of animation as a whole! Without this riverboat rodent, modern animation simply wouldn’t exist!
12. Iron Man
The melding of man and machine! Was not that the ultimate aesthetic for the tortured works of H.R. Giger? Didn’t such an idea keep Leonardo DaVinci up at night? Allowing him to dream of fantastical scientific inventions? Unlike DaVinci, Tony Stark managed to build machines that actually worked, and thus Iron Man was born! Now you too can create a machine in man’s image as the ultimate blasphemy! You little God-player, you!
13. Art Project
Sure this build your own Lego art set might be called “Art Project,” but that’s just a placeholder name for whatever pretentious moniker you can dream up for your creation! How about Untitled #13 (even though you never made #1-#12) or perhaps Summer Rhythms In Blue Ecstasy or some other esoteric and ultimately meaningless title! That’s the best part of art, baby! Making stuff up and then making people feel silly for not being able to comprehend your work! After all, you’re the genius here, not them. These trophies and dinosaur heads and bananas seem simple to the average viewer? I suppose they’ve never heard of Andy Warhol, have they? What is art? According to Warhol it’s “getting away with it.”
Published: Sep 5, 2024 03:55 pm