Why spend money on a real car to impress the hotties when you could just as easily knock ’em dead with your fleet of LEGO car sets? Who needs to tool around real city streets in 2024? You could be cruising around wall-to-wall carpet in your basement.
13. Ford Mustang Shelby GT500
Mmmm … don’t you just love that new LEGO car smell? The Ford Mustang Shelby GT500 is perfect for impressing any hotties you come across. Look at it. Look at the color. It’s like driving a sexy, muscly lime. Like driving a watermelon rind with wheels. If you put a red shell to Yoshi’s head and told him to pick what kind of car he would be, you know he would choose this one. What else is great about the Mustang? It’s got a pull-back motor that you can use to accelerate to top speed. If the hottie you’re after starts walking away, this car might just be fast enough to catch up—as long as they walk slowly.
12. Corvette
Don’t like the bulky muscle car look? Then maybe this American classic is the right fit for you. It’s a 1961 Chevrolet Corvette, so the swinging ’60s can be in your home! Just put shag carpet down in your basement and the vibe will be complete! With this car, you’ve got options. You can either build it with the top down or the top on. Why would you ever build a car with the top on when you could have a sexy convertible? It’s your choice, but I don’t think the hotties will be as impressed, even if you did pay $150 for it.
11. BMW M 1000 RR
Maybe a car just isn’t your style? Maybe the hottie you’re interested in has a wild streak? A death-defying nature that a car just can’t capture? BMW M 1000 RR is the ride for you. Just imagine it: you with your baby’s arms thrown across your waist, riding into the sunset. No, really. Imagining it is the best you’re gonna get. Neither of you can actually fit on this thing. It’s only 10 inches long. But for a LEGO vehicle? That’s huge—the biggest motorcycle that LEGO has ever built, clocking in at almost 2000 individual pieces. That’s how many pieces you’re gonna break the hearts of the hotties into, at least.
10. 2022 Ford GT 42154
Look at this beauty. The cool, deep blue paint job. Like taking a ride in the night sky. Or a some sort of gas guzzling Smurf. This puppy is BIG. 19 inches long. It weighs almost four pounds. Sure it doesn’t have the sweet pull-back engine of the Ford Mustang Shelby GT500, but that’s because the 2022 Ford GT 42154 was made for ADULTS. It’s not for scratching up the hardwood floors with your little cousins. It’s meant to sit on a shelf and be GAZED UPON. The hotties will gaze upon you with equal ardor.
9. Mercedes-AMG F1 W14 E Performance Pull-Back
Mercedes-AMG F1 W14 E Performance Pull-Back. Say it. Mercedes-AMG F1 W14 E Performance Pull-Back. Just rolls off the tongue, don’t it? Mercedes-AMG F1 W14 E Performance Pull-Back. It gets sexier and slightly easier to pronounce every time I hear it. The Mercedes-AMG F1 W14 E Performance Pull-Back isn’t some amateur’s muscle car. It isn’t some sugar daddy sports car. It’s a RACE CAR. And it goes FAST. With a pull-back engine, this machine will leave the other LEGO cars in your garage in the dust. The hottie you have your eye on will be saying “Mercedes-AMG F1 W14 E Performance Pull-Back” flawlessly in no time.
8. Land Rover Classic Defender 90
But what happens if the hottie you’re interested in is an outdoorsy type? A hiker? An adventurer? Someone who looks fresh air and sleeping under the stars? They’re not gonna be impressed with anything you have that needs a road to drive on. Unless of course that road is made of dirt, sticks, and small animals that you ran over yourself! Land Rover Classic Defender 90 is your answer. Land rovers were made for roving over the land, no matter what sort of land it is. Hill or dale. Mountain or molehill. Hardwood floor, carpet, concrete, or whatever the floor of your basement is made of, this beauty can conquer it, allowing you to conquer the toughest terrain of all: the heart.
7. Ferrari Daytona SP3
You know what? None of these other cars say that you’re worth something. None of them say that you have money to burn and matches in your hands. None of them say that you’re a provider, and can provide a luxury LEGO car experience. The solution? Drop $500 on a LEGO Ferrari Daytona SP3. What hottie doesn’t wanna take a spin in a Rari? That’s practically part of the hottie job description. While you can’t actually take them around town in Italian luxury, they’re certain to be impressed with this mini version. It has working butterfly doors.
6. Mars Crew Exploration Rover
You know something? Driving on the Earth is uncool. Everyone does it. It’s unoriginal. Besides, it pollutes air. Why not drive around somewhere where there’s hardly any air to pollute? Mars! You and your hottie can colonize the red planet for Elon gets his grubby little hands on it! You snooze, you lose, Musk! Worried about amenities? The Mars Crew Exploration Rover comes equipped with living quarters! A shower, toilet, AND treadmill! Anything else? Nothing much, just a WORKING CRANE to pick up Mars rocks! Or pebbles in the front yard to throw romantically at your hottie’s bedroom window.
5. Ghostbusters ECTO-1
You know what’s a surefire way to impress a hottie? Show them that you’re useful—that you provide a public service! Like ghost hunting! The Ghostbusters ECTO-1 is sure to prove that you are an asset to LEGO society! Just think of all the LEGO ghosts that you’ll be able to round up in this bad boy! Not even the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man will be safe from you! No matter how big he gets! The ECTO-1 has ghost sensors, a gunner seat, and even a ghost trap that fires out of the back of the car! You’re prepared for any LEGO ghost situation! And best of all, the hotties will never ghost you!
4. Back to the Future DeLorean Time Machine
This’ll be a 1.21 gigawatt shock to your love interest’s heart! The souped-up Back to the Future DeLorean is FAMOUS. What hottie doesn’t love famous things? Not only does it feature a pop-culture classic design, but this LEGO Delorean comes with options. You can build not one, but THREE different versions of the DeLorean.: the classic version, the future version that flies, and the beaten up Old West version! Hotties LOVE options! They have a lot of those already. With the DeLorean, you can make sure you’re one of them! Just don’t go back in time and accidentally make your mom or dad an option, too. Then things are gonna get confusing on both an emotional and spacetime continuum level.
3. Bowser’s Muscle Car
Nervous about trying to impress the hotties on your own? Take a wingman! Make like Mario Kart Double Dash and ride with two! Bowser is your guy! Bowser’s Muscle Car is sure to impress. Imagine you, your boo, and Bowser tooling around the Mushroom Kingdom in style. You might have to help the guy score a date of his own, though. I don’t think Peach is interested after all the kidnappings. Maybe King Boo? Power couple! And best of all, it comes with lit plastic Bob-ombs! I’m sure you and the hotties can figure out all sorts of fun things to do with plastic explosives.
2. Optimus Prime
Cars are cool. You know what’s cooler? Trucks. You know what’s cooler than trucks? Giant robots. But what’s even cooler than that? Trucks that transform into giant robots. That’s Optimus Prime’s whole steez! Forget Bowser; Optimus Prime is the best of all wingmen. After all, he’s the savior of the planet. I’m sure that he could vouch for you. The Optimus Prime LEGO set is a two-in-one truck/giant robot combo. Yes, you can transform the LEGO set, too! Let’s see the Ferrari do that.
1. Batmobile Tumbler
It’s Batman’s car. Batman’s. Car. How could there be anything cooler? The hotties won’t just be impressed; they’ll be blown away! Literally! The Batmobile Tumbler has awesome turrets, tank treads, and all that biz! And you know what’s even better? The LEGO set comes with a Dark Knight Joker miniature! You can thrill the hotties by reenacting the iconic scenes from The Dark Knight all night! Who wouldn’t be swept off their feet by a basement floor reenactment of the greatest superhero film ever made? It’s gonna be the best almost $300 you’ve ever spent. Trust me, the Batmobile Tumbler is the car that you deserve, and the one you need right now. Not for Gotham. For the hotties. Who else?
Published: May 21, 2024 05:41 pm