Persona 5 is a monster of a game.
There are practically INFINITE things to do. You can go to the movies! You can do your homework in a coffee shop! You can spend 60 hours dungeon crawling through disturbed mental hellscapes and still not even have scratched the SURFACE of all this game has to offer. It honestly amazes me that ANYONE has been able to complete this game. And 100% completion? Forget about it. Aside from being a deeply complex and multi-faceted RPG, it is also a dating simulator. That’s right! You could screw around in a dungeon for half the game and then strike up a romance with a special lady! And just like every other aspect of this game, your dating options are limitless.
But some of these gals are more special than others. After all, not EVERYONE is cut out to be main-character love interest material. Luckily for you, we at The Mary Sue are going to wingman you through the in and outs of the Persona 5 dating scene, so you end up with Ms. Right.
10. Ichiko Ohya
Ichiko Oh-no is more like it. Ichiko is a writer for a trashy online magazine that prioritizes clickbait above all else. And EVERYONE knows that you can’t trust someone whose full-time job is to tell nerds which fake video game girl they should date. It’s shady, that’s why I would never associate with one. The unfortunate thing about Ichiko is that she spends most of her time drunk, which is not what you want in a partner. Pair that with the fact that Joker is underage, and you have a match made in hell.
9. Chihaya Mifune
Gold digger. Stay away. This girl wants you to cough up 100,000 yen to buy a useless item before she’ll even CONSIDER going on a date with you. What kind of person expects that? After that, Chihaya starts acting all soft and sweet. But it’s hard to fall for her charms after she BANKRUPTED YOU and sold you something that YOU DIDN’T NEED. Pass.
8. Sadayo Kawakami
This romance is ethically dubious, which makes it … kinda sexy? Sadayo Kawakami is your TEACHER for one thing, so you have to be one gutsy bastard to go after her. You find her working late nights at a maid cafe and eventually, the two of you can strike up an illicit romance where she cleans your house for you. While it’s hot to have a thing with your teacher in a maid outfit, it’s a totally doomed romance. Not gonna survive the real world. Plus, you’re underage. So she’s technically a sex offender. Pass.
7. Haru Okumura
Now we start getting into quality relationships. Haru Okumura is your classmate, and she has all of the Best Girl qualities you could want. She’s sweet, kind, and tough as nails. She also brings some juicy drama considering that she’s already engaged to a total asshole, meaning that you get to swoop in and save her. Hot.
6. Hifumi Togo
Hifumi goes to a different high school and is not in your adventuring party, so you avoid a messy work relationship right off the bat! She’s also a gifted Shoji player, and as you know, the brain is the sexiest body part! Plus she gives Joker the awesome ability to swap out party members mid-fight. Game changer.
5. Futuba Sakura
Due to her complex relationship with Joker’s father figure Sojiro, many fans with daddy issues choose to romance her in order to get their surrogate daddy’s attention. But then they end up falling in love with Futuba anyway. How could you not? She’s clever, brave, and cute as a button. Plus the plot already forces you to steal her heart once. Why not do it again?
Related: Persona 5: Best Ichiko Ohya Gifts on Twinfinite
4. Tae Takemi
She’s a hot goth doctor. What more do you want me to say? I don’t care if I’m underage and she’s an adult, I want her. She’s going to make all of my goth mommi caretaker fantasies come true. I don’t care that she uses me as a guinea pig to test her experimental medicines. I’ll do anything for this woman. I’ll steal. I’ll kill. I’ll die. JUST LET ME HAVE THIS.
3. Kasumi Yoshizawa
This relationship is as wholesome and sweet as a romance with Tae is dirty and depraved. You get to take her on a pancake date! How cute is that? The best part about this romance is watching this shy girl slowly come out of her shell as you fall in love. You can also enjoy the absolutely suave ways that you get to romance her once you two profess your undying love.
2. Ann Takamaki
What’s not to love about Ann? She’s sweet, fierce, beautiful, and your friend for life. She’s the first romance-able character that you meet, and your history alone is enough to make you fall in love. Plus, you get to stick it to Ryuji and Morgana when you romance her, as they have huge crushes on her already. All’s fair in love and war.
1. Makoto Nijima
What can I say? Makoto Nijima checks all the boxes. She’s smart, kind, brave, and gorgeous. She has your back as one of your adventuring party members, and she is always there for you when you need her. She is also a hot goth. Look at her. She has red eyes, she wears a skin-tight black leather suit, and she rides a motorcycle. This woman represents the Queen Arcana and deserves to be treated as such. Sure, Tae Takemi has a studded collar and a lab coat (the stuff that wet dreams are made of), but Makoto can be your goth gf without all the “this is totally illegal” baggage. Not only that, many fans actually consider her to be the CANON romance of the game. She’s just that special. So hop on the back of her motorcycle, throw your arms around her waist, and ride off into the sunset. You know you want to.
(featured image: Sega)
Published: Jun 4, 2023 04:49 pm