I don’t want have to worry about superfluous things like a “TV” or an “HDMI cable” in order to enjoy a gaming experience. I want to get back to a simpler way of gaming! The kind of gaming that my ancestors did! And these PSP games will help me to just that.
I want to game simply, with nothing but my calloused hands and the sweat from my brow! I don’t need to do EVERYTHING that my ancestors did, like making bread or defending my land against invaders like The Last of Us’ Bill and Frank did. Those things sound simultaneously boring and dangerous. No, I just want to labor away with my hands in a digital, handheld world. Where all the danger can be paused with the click of a pause button! So here we go.
1. Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
Oh how I yearn to return to the days of old! You know those days I’m talking about! Ones where the threat of nuclear annihilation loomed around every corner! I’m talking of course about the Cold War! And what better way to return to those simpler times than with Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker? After watching his mentor get burned by his country during the events of Metal Gear Solid 3, Big Boss decides to form a paramilitary organization without borders to fight wars for peace! His kind-hearted war profiteering takes him to Costa Rica, in order to protect a native group of freedom fighters from nuclear disaster!
2. Secret Agent Clank
Like me, the little backpack-sized robot Clank of Ratchet and Clank must be yearning for simpler times before he met that trigger-happy lombax! With Secret Agent Clank, Clank is finally able to get some “me time,” all the while becoming an intergalactic robotic man of mystery! Attempting to clear Ratchet’s name for a crime, Clank embarks on a gun-slinging, platforming, stealth action quest for the sake of his friend!
3. Daxter
Just like Clank, Daxter of the famous Jak and Daxter duo has no doubt been pining for a simple solo adventure. And now his time has come! Ever wondered what Daxter was doing after the events of Jak and Daxter? You know, while Jak was being held prisoner and subjected to grisly Dark Eco experiments by a tyrannical dystopian regime? Wearing a cool trench coat, that’s what Daxter was doing! It’s all the platforming, gun shooting, and puzzle solving you love from Jak 2, but with a cigar-chomping weasel thing in the spotlight!
4. God of War: Ghost of Sparta
The God of War, Kratos, may have accidentally murdered his wife and child, but that doesn’t mean that he’s totally without a family! Ghost of Sparta is Kratos’ quest to reconnect with his long lost brother Deimos. How? By cutting his way through scores and scores of monsters from Greek mythology! Stomp foes into olive oil just like you do in the main console games! And try not to kill any more of your immediate family … That’s proving a bit of a challenge for Kratos.
5. Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII
Do you ever wish that there were another Cloud in your sky? With Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Cloudy days are in your forecast! While the game doesn’t let you play as Final Fantasy VII protagonist Cloud Strife, the plot is all about his origin story! You take control of fellow SOLDIER Zack Fair, who is dead set on unraveling the connection between the Shinra Corporation and its SOLDIERs. And the best part? You get to do it with real time combat! None of that waiting around turn-based nonsense for which the OG Final Fantasy VII is known!
6. Monster Hunter Freedom
If you’re craving a simple life, it doesn’t get much more simple than the plot of a monster hunter! Imagine it: waking up in the great outdoors, eating your weight in meat for breakfast, slinging a sword twice the size of you across your back, and venturing out in the world to fight giant bloodthirsty monsters! Sorta just like our ancestors did! That’s it! That’s the plot! Kill giant monsters, use their body parts to craft more powerful weapons and armor, and then kill BIGGER giant monsters! It’s the circle of life! I think!
7. Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep
Is your brain already threatening you with an aneurysm for forcing it to keep up with Kingdom Hearts’ convoluted plot? Prepare to die, because these plot points will make your brain explode! Birth by Sleep serves as a prequel to the Kingdom Hearts series, where three keyblade wielders must face off against The Unversed … which are monsters made out of “those unversed in their own emotions” or some crap like that? I don’t know, and I played the whole thing three times! While the story is a little confusing (but still beautiful in that nonsensical KH way) combat system one of Kingdom Hearts’ best yet.
8. Dissidia 012 Final Fantasy
Dissidia 012 Final Fantasy is a prequel to the fighting game Dissidia Final Fantasy, focusing on the conflict between the gods Cosmos and Chaos. But that’s all you need to know about the plot! Basically it’s just a vehicle to make all the major heroes and villains of the Final Fantasy series fight each other in Dragon Ball Z-esque combat!
9. Persona 3 Portable
While one might think that Persona 3 Portable is simply a portable remake of the original console game, one would be wrong! The most important change of them all is this: YOU CAN PLAY AS A GIRL. What does that mean? It means that the whoooooole game changes! Different romances! Different social links! A different story! Not only that, but the game allows you to control your party members’ actions directly in combat, making the combat system more tactical and fun. There’s a boatload of changes made to the original game that I can’t list in their entirety here, but rest assured, they took Persona 3 and made it BETTER.
10. Valkyria Chronicles 2
Valkyria Chronicles 2 is perfect for those who want to return to simpler times! What could be simpler than being a high school-age child soldier in a war-torn world that looks a lot like Europe did in the 1940s!? Have you ever wanted to be a member of the “greatest generation” that your grandparents keep yapping about? Well now you can! You take control of Avan Hardins, a military school student who must lead his classmates into battle against a rebel faction in his home country of Gallia. Action! Strategic combat! Gallons and gallons of war drama! A return to the Bad Old Days!
(featured image: Square Enix)
Published: Jan 31, 2024 02:55 pm