These Are Simply the Best ‘Schitt’s Creek’ Episodes

While I was sick as a dog these past couple of weeks, I finally got around to binging all 6 seasons of Schitt’s Creek. My only takeaway is, why didn’t I do this sooner? In an age of television and streaming bloat, Schitt’s Creek is a rare gem of a show that manages to be both endlessly watchable AND just really goddamn good.

Therefore, putting together a list of the “best” episodes was as laborious as it was heartbreaking. I had to leave out some personal favorites for objectivity’s sake, but by no means are the rest of these episodes any less deserving. If anything, you should go watch them immediately after reading. I dare you, David. You get murdered first.

Wine And Roses

We’re well aware of Moira’s past career as an actress by the time the first season gets rolling (with her accent as a constant reminder), but we don’t actually get to see her act until Wine and Roses. And my god, the woman is an anxious wreck. David’s panic attacks appear to be a familial trait.

Still, and I hate to say it, it’s hilarious to watch her grow drunker and more irate with each and every take, and the best part is when Johnny comes to check on her. We’re so used to the narrative of “husband tolerates wife, wife disturbs husband” that I was genuinely shocked and touched at how sweet he was with Moira. The end result of a commercial … well, I really hope that the winery aired it.

Happy Anniversary

The first two seasons, while hilarious, are relatively simple in that they focus primarily on how schitty the town is and just how desperate the Roses are to leave. But this episode is where it all takes a turn, because every person in the family is suddenly given cause to ground themselves.

Johnny and Moira have a dinner with old friends, whom they quickly realize are a couple of judgmental nobodies who did nothing for them, while Roland and Jocelyn—while passive-aggressive messes—did everything to help them. Alexis also comes to terms with losing Mutt, while getting a dosage of truth from a newly-healed Ted. And sweet baby David? Well, he and Stevie go on as they always do: absurdly.

Friends & Family

Admittedly, this episode is mostly great for the Alexis x Ted content. I wasn’t a huge Ted fan from the jump, but after seeing the two of them grow together in the vet clinic, I clutched my blanket every time one of their scenes came on. Seeing them finally kiss when Alexis found out she graduated? OMG. Through a sore throat and lots of mucus, lemme tell you, I squealed.

But there’s also something to be said about Johnny finally being able to move on from the huge, scary painting from their old life–and how easy it was for the rest of the family to be able to do it.

Grad Night

In the very next episode, Alexis finally graduates high school, Patrick takes David out on a birthday dinner (omgggg), Moira has the Jazzagals perform for the graduation (OMG), Ted comes to the graduation (OMGGG), and the Rose parents sing for their children back in the motel (AHHH!!!).

It’s so saccharine sweet, it’s almost silly. Thank god they got the wrong cake.

Open Mic

Patriiiiiiiiick….

Rosebuuuuud….

PATRIIIIIICK………..

ROSEBUUUUUD………

It’s too much, man. Too much.

Singles Week

Speaking of too much, TED AND ALEXIS FINALLY COMMIT. I feel a little bad for Heather, who was more or less Ted’s rebound relationship, but hey, nobody can top Alexis.

I was so proud of our girl finally being able to tell him how she really feels, and it was so sweet to see David coach Ted along. Both men were burned, so he knew exactly where Ted was coming from, yet he still advocated for his sister and helped make the relationship happen. Which we can probably thank Patrick for.

Merry Christmas, Johnny Rose

Full disclosure, I’m kind of a Grinch. I don’t like Christmas, I think it’s capitalistic and forces people to expect a good time when most of us can only hope for mild disappointments. Therefore, I usually skip Christmas episodes, as they tend to be as shallow as the holiday itself usually is.

I’m so glad I didn’t with this one. It’s genuinely one of the best episodes in the series, where the mild-mannered, sweet Johnny finally gets his due. Everyone celebrates his efforts to keep the family together, and in the end, they all have a better Christmas than any of the dumb, lavish parties of yore.

Housewarming

I don’t know if I’d call this an objectively show-stopping episode, but damn, it’s fun to watch. Patrick puts together a “high-school house party” themed housewarming party, and it ends up being exactly like most parties in your teens: messy, ridiculous, and most likely not as fun as you hoped.

Honestly, I love it mostly for Ted being an absolutely messica, and David finally enjoying himself at a “high school party.” Did Patrick and Alexis have cause to be as upset as they were? Eh, sure. But it was worth it to see a post-function Ted mimic Alexis’ “ew, ew, ew” before bed. CUTIE.

Meet the Parents

When I tell you I cried……..oof. Dan Levy has been quoted saying that he wanted Schitt’s to stray from the traditional homophobic narratives many shows take with queer characters, and it really shows in this episode. I was relieved that the Brewers were only concerned that Patrick didn’t tell them first, and the resulting conversation at his surprise party was just … ugh, tearjerker city.

Life is a Cabaret

Best episode?

Best episode.

I live for Stevie Budd and her character arc. I love how the Roses took her in as one of their own. It’s a little sus that Moira is a more doting mother to her than her own kids, but honestly, Stevie needs a mom more than they do.

Stevieeeee.

Start Spreading the News

It’s a rare thing for shows to get their ducks in such a neat row as the series comes to an end, but Schitt’s really went and did it anyway. All the endings feel earned, natural, and cathartic. Alexis needs to be on her own for a bit, and Moira deserves her glorious return to the biz.

But the biggest thing to celebrate is Stevie breaking through to David. He truly has nothing to prove, to anyone, and there is no shame in staying somewhere where people actually give a shit about him. Stevie loves him so much, and Patrick loves him enough to buy a house with him. As someone who feels like a mix between David and Stevie, I really, really felt their car scene, and was so happy to see that David finally realized his worth.

Happy Ending

It’s the last episode AND the wedding episode, of course we’re including it!

The wedding? Gorgeous, showstopping, extraordinary.

The antics? Silly, as they should be.

And the last scene?

Don’t even get me started. Don’t make me think of the last face we see being Johnny’s, smiling at the very sign he nearly tore down years ago. And the sign itself, being what it is…

Well, now I’m crying. Time to go rewatch the series.

(Featured Image: Pop)