Magic Conch … can the readers of this article have one of these super delivous extra tasty SpongeBob Lego sets?
No.
Can I have one of these super delivous extra tasty SpongeBob Lego sets?
Yes.
Sorry losers, you heard the Conch. You’re just gonna have to enjoy looking at these Lego setsfrom your side of the Kelp Forest.
1. Bikini Bottom Undersea Party
Remember that lit ass party that SpongeBob threw at his place that one night? Literally everybody in Bikini Bottom showed up. The Bikini Bottom Undersea Party might actually be on par with that one. Just make sure that SpongeBob doesn’t show up to screw things up. He keeps trying to schedule the party’s events, rather than let the vibe do all the scheduling for him. Faux pas, SpongeBob. Faux pas. Don’t let him make that mistake. If anything, get him to crank up the stereo and play at beat that jellyfish can bump to. Their music taste is impeccable.
2. The Flying Dutchman
SQUIDWARD THE SKY HAD A BABY. Wait sry it’s just The Flying Dutchman. You can get to this set by traveling through the Fly of Despair, and the Flying Dutchman will be there on the other side to grant you one wish. Just don’t wish for more time to think of more wishes like Patrick did. And DEFINITELY don’t try to go through the perfume department in the bowels of the ship. Gas mask or no, you’re gonna get got.
3. Krusty Krab Adventures
The Krusty Krab has gotta be either the best or the worst place to work in Bikini Bottom. On the bright side, you’d get to hang out with SpongeBob and maybe even work blue and say some “sentence enhancers” through the intercom. On the dark side, you could also get got by the Hash Slinging Slasher or worse … Nosferatu. With Krusty Krab Adventures you can choose your own adventure. Just don’t expect Mr. Krabs to be cool with it. Time is money, and he doesn’t have time for your sh*t.
4. Emergency Room
Got a bad case of the suds? Whatever you do, don’t call Dr. Patrick. He’ll put you on a rack. He’s not a licensed professional and has no credentials. You’d have better luck at Weenie Hut General than with that guy. No, your best bet when you break your ass like SpongeBob did snowboarding or whatever is to go straight to the Bikini Bottom Emergency Room and get a diagnosis from that deep voiced, wise crackin’ fish doctor.
5. Heroic Heroes of the Deep
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy UNITE! Wait, that’s not MM and BB? That’s Spongebob and Partick dressed as the … Heroic Heroes of the Deep? Who are those guys? The last time I checked SpongeBob’s heroic alter ego was The Quickster who can run to that mountain and back and do it again before you blink. As for Patrick, I thought he had elastic powers that let him finally touch his toes? Maybe the Dirty Bubble or Man Ray got to them first .
6. Good Neighbors at Bikini Bottom
Good Neighbors at Bikini Bottom is a misnomer. Spongebob and Patrick are ANYTHING but good neighbors. Making annoying noises in their Imagination Box. Blowing bubble messages to each other. Yelling “G7!” for no reason at all. These neighbors will make you wanna tear out your brainstem, walk out into the nearest three way – I mean FOUR WAY – intersection and skip rope with it.
7. Mrs. Puffs Boating School
Spongebob has failed his driver’s test at least 28 times. Not even Patrick beaming driving advice directly into Spongebob’s mind via Walkie Talkie helped. At Mrs. Puffs Boating School you can watch ol’ SpongeBob fail for the 29th time and counting. Just make sure that fellow student Flats the Flounder doesn’t catch wind of it, or he’ll kick SpongeBob’s butt.
8. Chum Bucket
The Chum Bucket is home to arguably the greatest singer of our generation, if the Plankton AI TikTok covers are to be believed. Here is the home of the character with the second-most pathos of the series, coming in just shy of Squidward. Plankton lives there with his computer-wife Karen eating holographic meatloaf (his favorite) and plotting how to steal the Secret Formula from his business rival Mr. Krabs. Help the little guy out, why don’t you?
9. The Krusty Krab
This is a no nonsense Krusty Krab Lego set. No extracurricular sandwich driving adventures. Just work, and you better get to it. How else are you gonna impress Squilliam Fancyson when he comes to visit? You need to clear your mind of EVERYTHING but fine dining and breathing if you’re gonna make this place a success. But whatever you do, don’t throw out your name. Hint: it isn’t Beef Wellington. And PLEASE don’t let Mr. Krabs cook. He was head chef on the S.S. Diarrhea, not an established culinary institution by any stretch of the imaaaaaaginaaaaation.
10. Glove World
Glove World! Where else are you gonna get gloves for your glove action figure? Or glove candy? EW! Glove flavored! Glove World is arguably the greatest attraction the Bikini Bottom has to offer, but PLEASE get off the bus at the right stop when you’re traveling back home. Otherwise you’ll end up in Rock Bottom, and you won’t be able to communicate with anyone because they can’t ptttttph understand pttttpth your accent pttttpth pttttpth.
11. Bikini Bottom Express
Again, the Bikini Bottom Express will take you to Rock Bottom if you’re not careful. It’s a dark place. Literally. Down a 90 degree drop straight off the continental shelf and into the abyss. And the Bikini Bottom Express does NOT want you to come back. Those busses are in cahoots with the vending machines to make sure that they only come when you’re reaching for a chocolate bar. They WILL leave you behind. The only way out is if you have a local inflate a Glove World glove balloon and send you sailing back to the almost-surface. Remember to say thank you! To which he will inexplicably respond “you’re welcome” without a trace of the Rock Bottom raspberry-blowing local dialect.
Published: Aug 10, 2024 04:26 pm