Blockers Is the Kind of Sexist Garbage That Should Never Enter Your Eye Holes

Of course, right after I write an article about reclaiming sexual autonomy, I look in the TMS #pitches folder and see a trailer for this damn thing.

What is frustrating about Blockers is not simply the fact that its premise is really boring and dated, but that it reflects the sexist behaviors and double standards that exist towards how parents raise their daughters. John Cena’s wife asks, “Did your dad try and stop you when you wanted to lose your virginity?” To which Ike Barinholtz’s character says, “He was too busy high-fiving me.” Excuse me, I rolled my eyes out of my head. I need to go get them.

Maybe if people didn’t treat sex as if it was the most important, most intimate, most sacred part of a relationship, kids wouldn’t act as is having it or not was such a huge part of being an adult. I mean let’s be real, for most women sex is fun if you have a loving partner and you are comfortable enough in your body. But on the spectrum, it is more often basic than not.

If these parents were trying to make their daughters more sexually prepared and “think things through,” maybe they should sit them down and say, “Listen, sex is okay and all, but statistically speaking you probably won’t even have an orgasm because teenage boys … they are not that great at it.”

To add insult to injury, originally the story was meant to be three fathers trying to stop their daughters from having sex. Leslie Mann was probably added because they thought it would be maybe just a wee bit less sexist if a mom was involved. Yep, internalized misogyny isn’t a thing. Sure.

Do you think there’s an alternative cut with the two moms and one father of the three boys trying to stop their sons from having sex? Naw, I didn’t think so either.

As hard as it may be for parents to deal with, your kid is going to have sex. Your daughter is going to have sex. Probably with someone you don’t even like, but guess what … you have always at one time been a teen who wanted to have sex and there was nothing your parents could have done to stop it. So if these parents want to help their children have a healthy sexual experience, they can give their daughters condoms and tell them that no matter what happens, they will always be there. Because that’s what kids actually need to hear. Maybe this movie will end with that kind of resolution, but the premise alone is enough to make me say pass.

(via Yotube/IMDB, image: Universal Pictures)

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