Can We Talk About ‘Cocaine Bear’s Obsession With This Star Wars Actor?

When I say I loved Cocaine Bear, I mean it. In fact, I’ve started to make it my entire personality. Mainly because I cannot stop thinking about Cocaine Bear. And one of the elements I love the most is how much the titular character loves Alden Ehrenreich. Well, she loves Eddie but I’m going with the Alden Ehrenreich of it all.

First of all, Eddie and Daveed (O’Shea Jackson Jr.) are both my favorite characters in the movie. I love that the two of them are just chaotic and that both Jackson and Ehrenreich went on the press tour talking about Star Wars because they were both in the franchise. It’s great, I love it, no notes. If you wanted to give me a Han/Kawlan Roken team-up series, I’d watch it!

And while I love their friendship and how much Daveed just wants to help Eddie forget about his dead wife, I also love that Cocaine Bear is a) a lady bear and b) seems to have chosen Eddie as the father figure her cubs need.

When Eddie and Daveed go to the woods to find the cocaine dropped there for Eddie’s father (and Daveed’s boss) Syd (Ray Liotta), they encounter a bear who is addicted to cocaine and going through the wilderness finding more, eating it, and then murdering anyone she comes across. Honestly, she’s iconic.

But it leads to Eddie and Daveed coming into contact with Cocaine Bear more than once and one of those fated meetings is the scene I have been thinking about the most. And it’s not because it was particularly moving and emotional. Instead, it was because Ehrenreich and Jackson delivered the comedic elements of it perfectly and also maybe we were all Cocaine Bear in that moment.

Related: Cocaine Bear Is a Pre-Packaged Cult Hit on The Escapist

An Eddie and Cocaine Bear romance

In her quest for more drugs, Cocaine Bear comes to a gazebo where Eddie and Daveed are trying to get their drugs from Bob (Isiah Whitlock Jr.). Bob has a bag of drugs and she can smell them but can’t find them. In her stupor, she ends up laying on top of Eddie who is “playing dead” alongside Daveed. It’s here that Eddie reveals that she’s a female bear saying her “vagina is on my ear” when asked.

But the moment I really can’t stop thinking about is when Cocaine Bear herself finally gets some cocaine again and sets her eyes on her next target: Eddie. As she’s charging at him, you think he’s going to be toast but instead, she wants to hug him and love on him. Does she want to sleep with him? That I’m not sure on but also Eddie is saved by everyone else trying to distract her enough to get him free.

The relatable part is that Cocaine Bear also just loves Alden Ehrenreich’s energy. The movie itself is beautiful and hilarious and I love it. But seeing Cocaine Bear choose Alden? An ally. I bet she wants to make Solo 2 happen.

(featured image: Universal Pictures)