Chelsea Handler speaking onstage.
(Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images for Stand Up To Cancer)

Chelsea Handler Speaks J.D. Vance’s Language, Calling Him ‘Hysterical’

Did we ever expect anything more from Donald Trump’s running mate? A resurfaced clip of J.D. Vance has pissed off almost half of the country with his comments on “childless cat women,” and television host, actress, and comedian Chelsea Handler is absolutely not having any of it.

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With Trump now back at the steering wheel of the Republican Party, how we got here again both does and does not surprise me; we have seen a return of bashing women in the political discourse. J.D. Vance has been selected as Trump’s running mate and, if Trump is elected (please god no), the future Vice President of the United States. Since his announcement, many have been working quickly to get up to speed on the Ohio senator’s views and political goals, with many of them being conservative, regressive, and downright dangerous for many.

One of his opinions that is making the rounds comes via a 2021 interview he did with Tucker Carlson, in which he stated his thoughts on how the United States is being run by “a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable, too.” Cue me slamming my head into the desk whilst groaning in agony at that statement. With the comment resurfacing thanks to his new position as Trump’s right-hand lackey, many are not best pleased by the sentiment, and that includes Handler, who has plenty of thoughts of her own.

The comedian pulled no punches in her fast and scathing clap-back which she posted to her Instagram, where she said,

“Listen up you wingnut elegy, this country is still controlled by men and systems that were set up by men that are carefully crafted to continue to benefit men. So to put it in women-hating terms you’ll understand, you’re being hysterical!”

She then decided to pull out the history books to help school the senator, continuing, “Let’s be clear, there is no correlation between childless people and the presidency. For example, our very first United States president, Mr. George Washington, didn’t have children. In fact, he had two stepchildren. That’s right, just like someone else I know.” That last line is a reference to Kamala Harris, the next likely Democratic candidate who has two adult step-children with her husband, Doug Emhoff. Handler continued to point out the absolute hysterical irony of this statement by saying,

“To your point about Kamala not being fit because she’s not a mother, I’d like to remind you that no president in the history of the United States has ever been a mother. Maybe if she had five kids with three different men, and a scandalous affair with a porn star, and was convicted felon that would be more palatable to Republican men.”

Handler was straight-up letting rip during this video where she continued to make reference to the headlines that have surrounded Vance since his elevation to running mate, calling him a “Diet-Mountain-Dew-drinking-couch-humping-dolphin-porn-afficionado.”

She wasn’t the only woman in Hollywood who was pissed at Vance’s asinine comments, as Jennifer Aniston also spoke up on the topic, writing on an Instagram story, “I truly can’t believe this is coming from a potential VP of The United States. All I can say is…Mr. Vance, I pray that your daughter is fortunate enough to bear children of her own one day. I hope she will not need to turn to IVF as a second option. Because you are trying to take that away from her, too.” Aniston has been open with her own IVF journey in the past.

The Republican party is pushing an extreme conservative agenda in the upcoming election, looking to pass laws that will make women’s lives infinitely harder and more dangerous. The finish off her takedown of Senator Vance, Handler added, “All of us childless cat and dog ladies are going to go from childless and crushing it to childless and crushing you in November.” 


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Laura Pollacco
Laura Pollacco (she/her) is a contributing writer here at The Mary Sue, having written for digital media since 2022 and has a keen interest in all things Marvel, Lord of the Rings, and anime. She has worked for various publications including We Got This Covered, but much of her work can be found gracing the pages of print and online publications in Japan, where she resides. Outside of writing she treads the boards as an actor, is a portrait and documentary photographer, and takes the little free time left to explore Japan.