Conservative Confusion Over the Mario Movie’s Politics Is Hilarious

How dare Nintendo and Universal do this to the manbabies of the world? Conservative talking heads like Steven Crowder logged online to call The Super Mario Bros. Movie “anti-woke” while the rest of his conservative buddies are angry that it is a “girlboss” movie and Bowser is a simp. If ever there were a time to highlight that right-wing talking heads don’t even know what they’re angry about, it’s now!

Crowder used the financial performance of Lightyear—a movie released last summer, when movies were not nearly back in the way they are now in theaters—as an example of what happens when you go “woke” with your movie. Alex Jones was his guest (literally why?) and said that this woke/anti-woke false dichotomy is the same reason Top Gun: Maverick did so well—as if we are not all tuning into those movies for men smacking chests. (Please pray for my brain cells after watching Crowder talk.)

Point is: Crowder said that the Mario movie “shuns the idea of trying to be woke,” which is a direct contradiction to other right-wing people complaining how Peach is a “girlboss” in the movie and that’s ruining it.

They can’t even agree what to be mad about! With tweets like one from Luke Rudkowski, a sea of complaints about Mario being “demasculated” and Bowser being a “simp” have echoed throughout their chamber of nonsense.

First of all, “demasculated” isn’t a word. Second, you should talk with Crowder and Alex Jones to figure out what you’re all mad about, which … look, I didn’t hate this movie but this is actually a wild take. Like truly, I’ve never been more confused by someone’s reaction to Mario.

We have people like Crowder calling Mario an “anti-woke” film (to be clear, he said it’s not woke or anti-woke and even that makes no sense) or we have people like Rudkowski and right-wing YouTubers slamming the film for its “woke” agenda. Make up your minds! Is it or isn’t it? Because you can’t have both.

The movie has a woman who just gets a bit of her own agency, though the story still plays with the “evil guy wants to marry a princess” trope that exists in media, but hey, understanding that would require using your brain, and we know that conservatives don’t like to do that. I don’t love what they did to Peach in the movie, but that’s because she basically sits on the side and goes, “Come, on guys, stop fighting!” instead. But in the eyes of the political right wing, she’s too much of a “girlboss.” Anyway, Bowser’s song for Peach rules, and maybe if you all just got over yourselves, you too can enjoy literally anything.

(featured image: Warner Bros.)