Disney is Making a High School Drama Show About the Kids of its Most Famous Villains

TV movie Descendants will revolve around the offspring of the main characters of Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Tangled, and Mulan, heading into prep school with the new kids: four children descended from Cruella De Vil, Maleficent, the Evil Queen (Snow White), and Jafar.

Let me repeat: Disney is making a high school AU based on the children of their most famous characters. And you better believe that if it does well it’ll become a spinoff series.

I have so many questions.

The new regent of the kingdom in which this takes place is the child of “King and Queen from “Beauty and the Beast,” is he the son of Belle and the Beast, or is he the Beast, or is he, like, the Beast’s brother?

If he is the child of Belle and the Beast, how attractive is he going to be? Generic handsome, or “I feel kind of bad about how hot I think this animated teenager is” handsome? Will he and Rapunzel and Flynn Ryder’s kid be having smoulder-offs?

Apparently this takes place in a universe where all Disney villains, henchmen, and evil family members have been banished to an island. On a scale of one to Toon Town, how crazy is that island?

So I understand Carlos De Vil, but are Mal, Evvie, and Jay (children of Maleficent, Evil Queen, and Jafar, respectively) going to have some equally amazing last names?

How are we reconciling the temporal setting of 101 Dalmations with the various classical antiquity or historical era time periods of Mulan, Aladdin, or Sleeping Beauty? Are we making any effort to reconcile it at all?

Has Tumblr already decided I’ll be ‘shipping? No, it does not matter that we don’t know what gender Mal and Jay, nor any of the offspring of the “good” characters are.

Question time over. At the risk of repeating myself:

“We mined Disney’s treasure trove of stories and developed a new, comedic approach to the fabled characters everyone knows and loves,” said Disney Channels Worldwide prexy-chief creative officer. “The result is a modern and unexpected re-interpretation of classic heritage characters utilizing contemporary, relatable settings and themes.”

Disney is making a high school AU about their characters kids, and the core cast has a middle eastern character in it, if not additionally Hispanic/Latino or Chinese characters as well. Here is a dumb idea I can get unironically excited about.

(via Variety.)