Trump is so desperate he’s chasing Taylor Swift’s fake endorsement

Sometimes I like to go to Truth Social to see what conservative weirdos are ranting about into the void. Last night, disgraced sexual abuser and former president Donald Trump claimed via multiple posts that Swifites for Trump are not only a thing, but he was proud to accept their, and Taylor Swift’s, endorsement.

Look, Taylor Swift may be a capitalist queen, but she’s not about that, and I can say that with absolute certainty. Here’s why: Swift released a documentary in 2020, Miss Americana. A significant portion of the film was devoted to Swift’s first public foray into American politics, coming out specifically against Donald Trump. She debated how safe that move would be with her father on camera:

Swift endorsed Joe Biden for president in 2020, by the way.

So now that we’ve gotten the fact that the day Taylor Swift endorses Donald Trump for president is the day hell freezes over out of the way, let’s peel back the layer of the deranged, fetid onion Trump is trying to force down our throats in a desperate attempt to stay relevant in this election cycle, shall we?

If you don’t hate yourself, you probably didn’t click on the link to his Truth Social posts. I don’t blame you, but no one hates me more than me, so I’ve studied them fastidiously. Unlike Swifties for Harris, which has tens of thousands of people associated with the movement, Trump is basically linking to one video from a lone weirdo, and some bizarre AI-generated images to make a case for Swifties for Trump. Swifties for Trump is essentially “fetch,” and Trump is on a Gretchen Weiners-esque fool’s errand to try to make it happen. (Spoilers: it won’t.)

If he weren’t such a vile, repugnant person, this would almost be funny. Almost.

In one of the images he linked to about Swifties activating for him, you can see it’s from a social post to a random blog that clearly has the tag “satire” in the image:

In the same collage, there is an AI-generated image of Swift as Uncle Sam, telling you to vote for Trump. Another AI-generated image of what can only be described as the most basic-looking women AI could generate wearing “Swifties for Trump” shirts in a font that can only be described as Comic Sans’ drunk, wayward cousin, and finally, perhaps my favorite: one photo that looks like a real woman wearing, yes, you guessed it, a “Swifties for Trump” shirt. She is used twice in this photo collage. Oh, bless.

OK, there is a lot to unpack here, but I want to get to the most obvious first: Swifties pride themselves on creativity and in-jokes within the Swiftverse. The fact that all shirts are a basic “Swifties for Trump” tells you all you need to know: It’s fake. No self-respecting Swiftie would ever go for something that obvious. These are people who insist on abbreviating everything into an incomprehensible cipher. They are the Gandalfs of celebrity fandoms: they speak in riddles.

Secondly, I’d like to address the fact that the obvious, poor attempt at a conservative take on The Onion, via the screenshot of a dumb, painfully unfunny headline above, clearly states that it’s satire. They do this not in a Jeb Bush-esque take to beg you to please clap laugh, but because Ms. Taylor Alison Swift is fairly litigious. You have to denote that something is satire so you make it clear it’s to be taken in jest and not real. I strongly suspect he didn’t read that part before he posted though.

Here comes the fun part: according to the Intellectual Property law experts interviewed in this article, Swift likely has grounds to sue Trump on the grounds of “right of publicity — the legal power to control how your name, image and likeness are used by others.” Imagine you get sued by the most popular musician in the world because you wrongly claimed she wanted you to be president, and it becomes an official record she thinks you suck.

Will she sue him? Probably not. We all know he’s broke, and she doesn’t need the money so it would be a hassle to collect. More than likely, she will endorse Kamala Harris for president when the time is right (and she’s not trying to push yet another variant of her latest album to stay at number one on the charts, let’s be honest.) Swift has said in the past how she regrets not speaking up during the 2016 election and will undoubtedly not sit 2024 out, now that we know just how egregious a Trump presidency can and will be.