Elon Musk, SpaceX founder and Kirkland’s Signature Tony Stark, has made a shocking announcement: He’s leaving the Democratic party and will now support Republicans. Wow. Who could have predicted that a self-indulgent billionaire, whose fortune comes from Apartheid-era emerald mines, would be conservative? Mind. Blown. Musk tweeted, “In the past I voted Democrat, because they were (mostly) the kindness party. But they have become the party of division & hate, so I can no longer support them and will vote Republican. Now, watch their dirty tricks campaign against me unfold …”
Musk, who HATES the attention, is especially upset that his car company Tesla was kicked out of the S&P 500 ESG Index over claims of racial discrimination and crashes linked to its autopilot vehicles. Musk responded on Twitter writing, “ESG is a scam. It has been weaponized by phony social justice warriors.” Yes, those pesky SJWs, who want people treated equally in the workplace and autopiloted cars not to crash and explode. Damn you, liberal scum!
And much like his fellow Republicans, Musk is an ardent proponent of free speech … for racist, insurrectionist-inciting demagogues. During his much-publicized purchase of Twitter (which at this point seems unlikely to happen and was just a ploy for attention), Musk threatened to un-ban Donald Trump. It’s a bold stand for a pioneer like Musk, to look at Twitter and say, “not enough nazis or transphobes!”, but I guess that’s what makes him an iconoclast. Also, interesting how Musk never cared about trans people until his ex-partner Grimes began dating trans whistleblower Chelsea Manning. But I’m sure that’s just a coincidence. After all, who among us hasn’t tried to buy a massive social media platform with undue influence over global democracy after a bad break-up?
Truly, there is nothing more Republican than a wealthy white man who uses his money and influence to oppress others, while simultaneously whining that he’s the victim. Might as well replace the elephant as the Republican symbol and just go with Elon Musk frowning.
Folks quickly took to social media to roast Musk’s obvious political flip-flopping as “Poor Elon” began trending. Good luck Elon, I’m sure you’ll find plenty of environmentally conscious, wealthy republicans just dying to buy your Teslas.
(image: Britta Pedersen-Pool/Getty Images)
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Published: May 18, 2022 05:37 pm