‘Emily in Paris’ shows us why setting boundaries and knowing your worth is necessary

Emily in Paris may not be the best series to turn to for relationship advice; the deception, the lack of communication, and the confusion between lust and love don’t exactly set a great example. However, in season 4, the show does highlight one thing surprisingly well: healthy relationships require clearly communicated boundaries.

Emily in Paris throws a whole lot of romance at its audience. Obviously, Emily’s romances are the focus, but other pivotal relationships are formed and tested throughout the show as well. Mindy, for instance, has her hands full with romances past and present, Sylvie is in an open relationship with her husband, and Gabrielle and Camille also have their own confusing thing going on. None of these relationships are easy, but Emily, in particular, is not having the best of luck.

Spoilers ahead for Emily in Paris season 4, part 2.

Three’s a crowd

In the first part of the fourth season, Emily and Gabrielle finally get together even though Camille believes she is pregnant with Gabrielle’s baby. Their complicated ménage à trois (without the sex) eventually reaches a boiling point in episode 6. With Emily conveniently no longer able to go to Chicago, she is invited to spend Christmas with Camille and her family—and Gabrielle—in the Alps. Clearly, that will go well, especially with a conniving mother and an outspoken, creepy younger brother on the loose.

The three embark on a ski trip despite Emily insisting she’s not a strong skier. Gabrielle tells her he will stay with her and then immediately breaks that promise, chasing after Camille who flies off, as he worries that she could fall and hurt the (now non-existent) baby. A stunned Emily is left on the mountain, unable to ski down alone. She is rescued by a handsome and charming Italian man who supports her to the bottom, where she lets rip at Gabrielle for abandoning her. She states that he will always choose Camille over her, especially as she is carrying his child (Camille fails to provide clarity here) and Emily states that she can no longer be a part of this complicated dynamic.

It’s okay to have personal boundaries!

Emily’s situation is difficult—on the one hand, some of it is out of her control, but on the other hand, she initially refused to communicate her boundaries. Sure, she believes Camille is carrying Gabrielle’s baby, and she has to make accommodations for that, but Emily often bends over backward to make everyone happy and be accommodating, constantly putting herself last. She doesn’t communicate with Gabrielle how she feels about him and Camille spending so much time together, and she doesn’t let on how frustrating it is or set boundaries for their relationship. This leads to her insecurities being easily influenced by others and causes her to blow up at Gabriel—which was deserved, to a degree.

Now, if we are to look at someone who sets boundaries for themselves, we need only look at Emily’s roommate, Mindy. She knows what she wants for her life and from a relationship. Throughout the entire fourth season, Mindy does a great job of advocating for herself in her relationship with Nicolas, standing her ground when she needs to and walking away when he gives her an ultimatum: him or her dreams. Yes, Mindy! We love a woman who knows her self-worth!

Setting boundaries is not about creating ultimatums; it’s about letting the person you are with know what you are comfortable with, what you expect from them as a partner, and coming up with a way to mitigate any confusion or upset further down the line. If Emily had done any of these earlier on—well the show would be a bit less interesting, perhaps—she might have had a stronger relationship with the man she loves. Will she apply those lessons to her relationship with the Italian stallion?