Finally, Esquire Gives Us the Untold Story of Our Time: A Profile on a White Boy

I thought that maybe Twitter was doing its normal thing and reacting to a headline without paying attention to the actual context of an article, so I went to check out Esquire’s profile on an “American boy” (an American middle-class white boy, specifically) and, to the surprise of no one, it was just as bad as you’d think—perfectly encapsulated by the assertion that girls can’t like football.

Honestly, the boy in the article, Ryan Morgan, seems like a normal 17-year-old who respects his mother and just wants to play sports. Fine. But why did Esquire think this was the story that our society desperately needs to hear right now? Not just generally, but also considering their cover specifically states that it’s a story about a white boy … during Black History Month.

Well, if you take a look at the first paragraph, you instantly understand that this was just a very misguided adventure in every way:

“Ryan Morgan is seventeen and happy to be a guy. To be a girl would mean he’d have to deal with a lot more drama. He’d likely have to deal with mean girls. And he could end up a mom, which he doesn’t ever want, because being a mom is hard. Probably the hardest job in the world. Also, he might not think football was as interesting. He isn’t sure what would be interesting, but if it isn’t football, then he isn’t interested. Other than that, he doesn’t think there are too many reasons it would be better to be a guy than a girl—unless you’re from the Middle East or maybe the inner city.”

Ever look at something and think to yourself, “What?” because that’s this entire profile.

“Sometimes when Kaitlyn is driving and he’s riding shotgun, she’ll pull up to a four-way stop and gesture to other drivers to go, go, go, even when it’s her turn. It is just one of those things Ryan thinks girls do. They are more tentative, no fault of theirs. Whereas he knows with certainty that he is decisive.”

Don’t worry, though. The article takes a drastic turn that makes women out to be scheming villains. When Morgan got into a fight with a girl at school, his mother decided to tell him that he should have instantly reported it, because the girl might go and hurt herself more, and come back to school on Monday to blame it on him.

If you think you might know where all this is going, you’re probably right: It’s yet another profile to help us understand the Trump supporter—basically its own genre that reached the point of self-parody long ago. With that in mind, the biggest question about this profile is … why? Why did Esquire think it was important, right now, to focus on a Trump-supporting white kid from the midwest, who slapped a girl after she slapped him?

Yes, the girl who slapped him should not have slapped him. She should have faced consequences for her actions. That being said, when white men understand the fear of simply existing as a woman or a person of color in America, then maybe we can worry about the fear that the idea of treating others equally has gone too far, a point we are laughably far from, no matter what this profile is getting at.

(image: NBC/screengrab)

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