The Mary Sue’s Favorite Comments of the Week, Featuring Gilmore Girls as Directed by Michael Bay

It’s Friday! Let’s get pumped! Let’s explode some things!

All the geeky royal baby names you suggested, in general. A few standouts: Loki or Scar (“since it will be a royal 2nd child,” explains Janna), “Stormageddon, dark Lord of All” (of course, nellnee), Fred (Nirali: “Because there’s already a George”), and Snortblat (like six people. Six smart, beautiful people.)

In response to Amazon registering all sorts of anti-Amazon domain names, Paul F. comments: “BRB, registering themarypoo.com.”

A Power Rangers stuntman using his skills to rob houses after an injured knee sidelined him from work is still one of our favorite things that happened this week. Another favorite thing: Justin R. on Facebook responding with “Yeah, the only way Power Rangers could be more like Breaking Bad is if…Bryan Cranston…was involved…OH MY GOD.” ILLUMINATI.

The comment section of our post about how Bryan Fuller thinks it’d be a dick move to cast a white actor to star in American Gods naturally turned into a discussion on whitewashing, diversity, and color-blind casting. Laura Truxillo reminds us: “You remember that Last Airbender movie? They made sure to cast the best actors possible in all those formerly-Asian/Inuit roles, I tell you what.” Laura, did you have to?

One of our suggestions for 101 Things We Wish Apple Gave Us Instead of That U2 Album and How to Get Rid of It was a Michael Bay-directed Gilmore Girls movie. WoalCol took that and ran with it:

SETTING: Luke’s Diner, Morning.

There’s the usual breakfast crowd. Luke is behind the counter, Kirk seated on a stool.

LUKE: Kirk, did you hide an Easter Egg for the hunt in here? Because that smell is not my food!

KIRK(pouting): Taylor refuses to let me help after the time I lost track of a few.

Taylor runs into the shop, holding a bullhorn.

TAYLOR(into bullhorn): Everyone, there is a gas leak on Main Street, please leave your breakfasts and exit in an orderly but speed fashion.

Everyone hustles out, Luke included. They gather across the street.

LUKE: Taylor I swear if-

The diner EXPLODES, TAKING TAYLOR’S SWEET SHOP WITH IT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY AND LENS FLARE.

[fin]

A black cheeseburger? “We will make cofee Metal. We will make hamburgers Metal. We will make everything Metal. Blacker than the blackest black times infinity!” Square Peg also linked to this image, in case you’re confused. Well played.

We’re getting more of this Thor-as-comment-moderator AU, right?

Lup Lun: “‘Greetings, citizen! Would you like a donkey punch from Iron Man?’ ‘I dunno lol.'” CONTEXT.

These Link and Ganondorf dolls look ripe for punning. Take it away. You know who you are.

(explosions by Andrew Kuznetsov, Bryan Burke)

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