“Sucks to Your ASMR”: The Mary Sue’s Favorite Comments of the Week

You know what you need after the bad week we just had? CAT PUNS!

Note: The top pic of Richard Nixon fighting a sabertooth tiger (by sharpwriter) has nothing to do with anything. I just wanted to share it with you.

The argument of the century went in the comments of our post about directors Joe and Anthony Russo Honest Trailer-proofing Captain America: The Winter Soldier:

Amanda: “The video is great, but I’m surprised and disappointed that they didn’t call out Alexander Pierce’s frankly appalling use of a full sized glass for approximately half a sip of milk. (I will never stop being upset about this. WHY NOT JUST USE A JUICE GLASS, PIERCE?! OR DRINK IT RIGHT OUT OF THE CARTON, WE ALREADY KNOW YOU’RE EVIL!)”

Adrian: “If Robert Redford wants to use a tall glass then you let Robert Redford use a tall glass.”

I… I can’t pick a side!

All the comments of people sharing their own experiences with ASMR on Carolyn’s explanatory post are really interesting, but Ian took the cake on this one with “Sucks to your ASMR.”

AverageDrafter responds to the Mars Rover having its mind wiped (which Dan already used a completely horrible top pic for) with “‘Now, tomorrow I want you to take that Rover unit to Cydonia and have its memory erased. That’ll be the end of it. It belongs to us now.’ – Uncle Owen, NASA Mission Commander.”

But wait! There’s more! Wild_Morrigan responds:

@TheMarySue NO DISASSEMBALLLL!!!! pic.twitter.com/4eTCn5D86o

— Witch of the Wilds (@Wild_Morrigan) September 2, 2014

How dare you both!

In response to the Mockingjay – Part 1 Katniss character poster, Film Runner offers: “Oh fuck, Snyder took over!”

CJM Young: “I love this new beast because it’s a bad autocorrect away from Doughnut Saurus.” Mmmmm, doughnuts.

Context: There’s a bank in Russia that lends you a cat when you sign a mortgage. Now puns:

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