On Wednesday, February 2nd, police officers in DeLand, Florida, responded to a call about an attempted bank robbery. The culprit? None other than the blue blur himself, Sonic the Hedgehog.
Or rather, someone wearing a facemask and… wielding a hammer?
Gotta rob fast?
According to The West Volusia Beacon, police were alerted to an armed robbery taking place at the local Florida Credit Union. Witness testimony confirmed that the suspect was, in fact, wearing a Sonic the Hedgehog mask along with a black hoodie and pants.
No word on whether or not the shoes were red.
Was this, perhaps, a smear campaign to damage the hero’s name? With the movie coming out in April, maybe it’s Robotnik trying to ruin his nemesis’ reputation.
No one knows because the would-be robber hasn’t been caught yet.
Fortunately, no one was hurt, and nothing was actually stolen, as the suspect fled the scene after being confronted by one of the bank’s employees. “Everybody is safe, nothing was taken, and local police are on it,” said the bank’s Vice President of Branch Operations, Brian Leatherman. Despite the suspect banging on a bank teller’s window with a hammer (more on this strange turn later), there was no property damage, either.
I’m not sure what that employee did to make the super Sonic criminal runoff, but my headcanon says it’s something along these lines:
Did Robber Sonic borrow the hammer from Amy Rose?
The story is already bizarre enough, but then you get to this particular bit of information that reveals the culprit’s weapon of choice.
When officers arrived on-scene, contact was made with witnesses who stated that a subject (believed to be a male by their tone of voice) wearing a “Sonic the Hedgehog mask” entered the bank displaying a hammer and demanding money from the teller. While demanding cash from the teller, the suspect then struck the teller’s window with the hammer as he continued with his demands.
Why a hammer? Was it the only thing he had laying around the house? Or is he a truly dedicated Sonic fan who decided to rely on Amy Rose’s go-to weapon?
I’m leaning toward the former, as the hammer in this case looks like an ordinary tool and not a fun, cartoonish weapon wielded by a pink hedgehog.
As if Amy would ever lend out her hammer for such nefarious purposes. Then again, if it was Sonic asking…
At the end of the day, this is my very first Florida Man headline, and it’s probably pretty tame in comparison to other Florida Man stories (and, let’s be honest, Sonic fandom stories).
The lesson of the day? Two things. One, don’t mess with that bank employee who scared off a masked, hammered hedgehog. And two? Leave the robbery to Rouge the Bat.
(Image: TMS Entertainment)
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Published: Feb 7, 2022 09:43 am