When the last Panel From Hell was livestreamed, everyone was agog that Baldur’s Gate 3 let you have full on bear-sex with a druid. We’ve covered this already, and if you haven’t seen the scene by now, that’s on you, buddy.
We already knew that this was going to be a very sex-positive game, if only in the sense that it felt quite positively about all kinds of ways to get nasty with your digital self. I’ve already heard from fellow TMS writer Alyssa Shotwell about her current sexploits, of which there are many, and of which I will let her speak about in her own time (when she’s not getting down with her digital self).
However. I’ve come across a scene that might just top (literally) every other scene in the game, including the bear scene. It’s a scene that delights the sex-posi girlie within me, and it’s from a video game, no less. This scene manages to be aesthetically astounding and narratively beautiful, while also accomplishing what every sex scene hopes to accomplish: be sexy!
The best part is, it’s with the nerd of the gang. Go figure!
Star-crossed lovin’
Fair warning, if you plan on romancing Gale, I recommend not reading this due to major spoilers! Of course, as a spoilerhound myself, I cannot stop you.
Once you learn what Mystra’s plans are for Gale, he’ll take a few days to consider his predicament before coming to you for a moment of repose. On this night, he’ll invite you to a scene he’s created himself using the weave: an aurora borealis, painted over the night sky.
He’ll go on to declare his love for you—which, yes, is a bit quick, but it’s video game logic and we don’t have to read into it too much. If you reciprocate, he’ll offer to give you the sort of perfect night you deserve for a date, which means a recreation of what he’d show you in his beloved city of Waterdeep. It’s a gorgeously crafted scene reminiscent of what Larian wanted to fully portray with Fane’s romance in Divinity Original Sin 2, and with a heartwrenching score to boot.
Where the game really takes its artistic panache to another level is with the sex part. If you consent to some wizzy panky, you have two options: be with him as a man, or be with him in the Weave, “like a god,” as he puts it. I’m a simple gal, so at first, I went with the simple option, where he conjured a lovely queen bed and, according to the morning-after dialogue, had great head game. Yes, girlie, get it.
But the other option? The “godly” one? Wow. Wreow, even. I was reminded of an old review for Team America: World Police, where a journalist admitted to getting aroused from the puppet sex scene. I’m not gonna say this scene had the same effect, but it did do significantly more for me than any other video game ever has.
The scene is a little NSFW for the algorithm, but I’ll give you a little taste of what happens:
Gale invites you to join him in the stars, where he starts melding his body with yours, astrally (or, as our editors put it, ass-trally, since you do ultimately fuse butts). The characters are visibly enjoying the hell out of the experience, as they shift and mutate into each other like star-crossed anglerfish, until they reach a point of climactic nirvana, a gaggle of starry, brightly-lit limbs.
It’s really something, unlike anything I’ve ever seen in a game before. I’ve always maintained that there’s a lot of value in sex scenes, but that this value is often lost due to the overly sexed, yet tragically repressed culture we live in. This is especially the case with video games, where sex is rarely more than just an achievement at the end of a romantic arc, and is seldom handled with any grace or maturity. If anything, video game sex is nothing more than a wink-wink, nudge-nudge. I’m not saying we need full-frontal, plus pillow-talk cuddling afterward in order to be “better.” I’m just saying that the best portrayals of sex take it many steps further than the bare minimum we often get, and that’s what this scene did.
There have been many impressive moments in this game already, but Gale’s scene was nothing short of breathtaking. It felt intimate without being perverted, and honestly threw my whole playthrough plans into the air with how gorgeously it was executed. Not every video game has to be this artsy fartsy with their hanky panky, but I’m so glad Larian took that risk.
(Featured Image: Larian Studios)
Published: Aug 11, 2023 11:22 am