An Essential Internet Playlist to Help You Survive Any Geek Roadtrip

As part of our ongoing sponsored content series with Lincoln, we were challenged to come up with the perfect geek playlist that would not only take advantage of the MKS’s THX II Certified Audio System, but sustain a driver on a multi-­hour journey into the unknown.

You’re in your car. You’re going to be here a while. Say, 30 odd hours. How will you keep your sanity whilst traversing the miles upon miles of highway between you and your goal. There’s only one thing for it: Our unbeatable collection of classic Internet tunes.

Your journey begins in the early pre-dawn hours. Your vehicle, packed and fueled the night before, stands ready and waiting. After taking a final sip of coffee, you open the door, sit down, and start the engine.

Track 1: Daft Punk Covered on Google’s Moog Doodle

It’s still early yet, so there’s no reason for lyrics. What’s more, it’s slow driving across surface streets until you’re going to be able to merge onto the highway. What better way to cruise lazily towards the open road than with the dulcet tones of a Daft Punk cover on a Google Doodle?

Track 2: Carl Sagan “Singing” About the Beauty of the Universe

As your vehicle mounts the highway on-ramp, and revs up to speed, traffic is light, as most of the world is slumbering through the breaking dawn. And as the lazy fingers of sunrise creep through the misty cloud cover, your mind turns to the deeper mysteries — and glories — of the Universe.

Track 3: You Can’t Hug Every Cat, but Your Car Can Hug the Turns Like It’s Making Sweet Love to the Road

The coffee has worn off, and the day is wearing on. You need a pick-me-up: Uptempo rhythms and feline syncopations to carry you through. Also, you miss your cat.

Track 4: Kick it up a Notch with Krispy Kreme

Windows down and in the zone, cruising along the highway, it’s time to drop some beats y’all.

Classic Track Flashback: Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Part 2

While attempting to pass a slow-moving truck, your vehicle exceeds 88 miles per hour and you inadvertently trip the Flux Capacitor. Suddenly it’s 2002, and your iPod has been replaced with a CD from a certain Oklahoma-based spacerock band.

Track 5: Floppy Drive Choir Performs Theme from Doctor Who

Approaching mid-day, your mind turns to the long road in front of you and the man hours still left in your trip. If only there was some way to transcend both space and time, and perhaps punch through the very fabric of the galaxy with a delightfully strange Englishman. Unfortunately, its just you and the car.

Track 6: Popular Internet Metaphor Scumbag Steve Performs Song About Himself

Your mind wanders, and with it your concentration on the road. This is the most dangerous time in any roadtrip, and the only solution is something equally mindless.

Track 7: Get Smart with a Track From Ph.Diva

Having dumbed it down, it’s time to smarten up. You’ve been behind the wheel for hours upon hours, with a good distance still to go. As your physical body begins to protest, you focus on your intellect, and surge onward.

Track 8: Like Megaupload, You’re Getting to Your Destination “Bit” by “Bit”

In every roadtrip there are moments of great adversity. Like using a semi-legal file sharing system, you’re attempting to move an awful lot an enormous distance. In the words of the immortal Kim Dotcom, you’ll have to do it “bit by bit.”

Classic Track Flashback: Telephone Thing

You’re extremely hungry, and the sight of a Waffle House causes you to inadvertently accelerate in excitement. With a groan, you realize that you’ve set off the flux capacitor and are suddenly in 1990. Your cellphone has transformed into a car phone. Somehow, Mark E. Smith is in the car with you. He glances at the car phone, glowering.

Track 9: A Reminder from David Liebe Hart and the Alien LaRent to Stay on the Straight and Narrow

It’s been a long, long road, and it’s starting to wear on you. Also your trip to 1978 got you a little too excited. Your mind struggles as the loneliness of command takes you. You long for a friendly touch, a happy smile. Perhaps more. Perhaps…

Track 10: Let’s Get Creative!

You have refocused, and the moment of weakness has passed thanks to a psychic alien. Now, your destination in site, you are filled with renewed energy! Your body is flooded with adrenaline, and you’re ready to end your trip and start a new endeavor!

BONUS TRACK: Round Our Your Trip With 24-Hours of U.S.S. Enterprise Engine Noise

Somehow, you have greatly miscalculated the length of your trip. An entire day of driving ahead of you, it’s time to eliminate the self, and destroy all thought. There is only the road. There is only this car. And there is only the constant hum of the USS Enterprise.

Classic Track Flashback: Station to Station

Hours have gone by. Hours? Perhaps days. In desperation to finally reach your destination, you recklessly slam onto the accelerator. Once again crossing 88 miles per hour, you suddenly plumet further backwards in time. It’s 1978 and David Bowie appears before you in a shimmering cloud. Perhaps this is the end of the trip. Perhaps this is where you were meant to be all along.

(top image via Cindy Seigle)

No matter where your roadtrip takes you, the Lincoln MKS will provide a stellar audio experience thanks to its THX® II Certified Audio System and 16 strategically placed speakers. Pumping out 700 watts of power though a 10-inch subwoofer, the MKS will bring you a listening experience like nothing you’ve had on the road.

---