Happy Memorial Day, Everybody! Here Are Some Things Not to Do at Your Barbecue

We’re on a truncated schedule today, but we wanted to take a minute to wish all of our American readers a great Memorial Day*. Whether you’re having a barbecue with friends or still working you way through the rest of Arrested Development‘s long awaited fourth season or even doing another thing — those are my two plans for the day, and I literally have no idea why anyone would be doing anything else — we hope you’re all having a wonderful and relaxing day off among loved ones. Or, y’know, by yourself on the couch. It’s less stressful sometimes, and dang it, you deserve it.

Since plenty of you will be firing up the barbecue this afternoon, please also consider this a public service announcement of what not to do when cooking over an open flame, especially if you’ve got a couple of cold ones in you. Be well and stay safe, friends. We’ll see you all tomorrow.

*P.S.  — Dear treasured readers from around the world, yes, we know it is probably not Memorial Day where you are. You do not need to remind us. For what it’s worth, we hope you all have a lovely day, too, and are sorry you have to go to work today.