I Finally Watched ‘Gilmore Girls’ and It’s NOTHING Like I Expected

Growing up, I was never really interested in Gilmore Girls, because it seemed like the sort of overly darling, somewhat dated show that only served suburban white girls. Yes, if that sounds harsh, it’s because I formed this opinion as a teenager who was half-white and grew up in the suburbs, so I was definitely projecting a little bit. Yet this opinion did somehow carry into the future, resulting in a Gilmore Girls-less young adulthood.

However, after watching many videos from channels like The Take and WatchMojo about shows like Girls and Sex And The City, I couldn’t help but notice that Gilmore Girls was always brought up. In particular, they always tended to reference the alleged “messiness” of Star Hollow’s star pupil: Rory Gilmore (Alexis Bledel). This always bewildered me, since compared to the teen rebels of my favorite teen shows, Rory seemed a little too buttoned-up to be particularly “bad.”

So, in desperate need of a break from the chokehold Baldur’s Gate 3 has had on me, I decided to finally start watching Gilmore Girls a couple weekends ago. And, uh. Wow.

I get it now. I get the hype. It really is that good. Frustrating? Oh, yeah. But only because the writing is so good, you can’t help but get invested in these characters’ lives from the get-go.

A sign of the times

I’m honestly sad that I didn’t watch this show when I was younger, because it was so emblematic of the times I grew up in. All the little references had my ears pricking up like crazing, especially the music references. When Rory and Dean were still figuring their whole schtick out, I cracked up at the multiple Nick Drake references—especially when he goes to her house and finds the Pink Moon CD on her desk.

He says something along the lines of, “God, I hate that they used Pink Moon in that stupid VW commercial,” which made me grin so stupidly. I haven’t thought about that commercial in years, yet my teenage self would have died at that reference, since I was deep in my Nick Drake phase back then.

There’s also an earnestness in everything they say and do in this show that I rarely see in media these days. I think social media has made everyone a little too self-deprecating and ironic for our own good, which can take the whimsy and charm out of our day-to-day lives. We either lean too far towards sardonic, unreadable humor, or we lean the other way into overly romanticizing ridiculous, small things to compensate for it. There’s no middle-ground, usually.

In Gilmore Girls, the vibe is definitely a little unrealistic and idealistic; the town is named “Stars Hollow,” for chrissakes. But honestly, I miss shows that are this eager to be endearing. You really get a sense that the town is a community, even regarding its loners, like Luke. It doesn’t feel forced or trite; it just feels incredibly cozy and warm. I totally get why this is so many people’s comfort show.

That said, I also get one of many viewers’ biggest pet peeves regarding this show …

The case of Rory Gilmore

Now I get it. I understand completely. Rory was fine during the first few episodes, when she wasn’t entirely a Grandparents’ Girl and she still had a bit of self-possession to her. But over the course of the show, I’ve been continually struck by her utter naivety, and how eagerly the people closest to her are willing to enable this. She’s clearly the plot darling, and it doesn’t feel all that earned.

There’s a childlike quality to Rory that is endearing up until the point where it absolves her of any and all consequences. I won’t get into it too much, because by now, this is a conversation that’s been beaten to death, but all the same, it continues to baffle me. Often, her plotlines are somewhat meandering and center on how she can skate through conflicts without having to do much. The qualities she exhibits that I admired about her—namely her wit and her sense of right and wrong—have slowly been subsumed by her tendency to passively let things happen to her without thinking about it much. It’s weird how much she’s coddled.

Even her relationship with Dean (Jared Padalecki) is a little baffling to me. I get it; it’s a fluffy TV show, so of course the bookish girl gets the dreamy city boy, but something I’ve also been enjoying about Gilmore Girls is how willing it is to get real. Namely, it does so with Lorelai, who I absolutely adore. She’s messed up, sure, but she feels like a fully defined person with a lifetime of experiences that have shaped who she is. By comparison, Rory feels very young for her age, which makes Dean’s pursuit of her feel … odd?

Like, here is this well-read guy from Chicago who’s clearly also lived a life (the dance episode proved this to me, albeit in a very silly TV way). Why is he so into Rory, who’s still very innocent herself and has a similarly innocent perspective of the world—one that grows even more insular the more she spends time with her grandparents?

I guess I’m just too used to the Lindsay Weirs of the world, who don’t get off scot free just because they’re white and smart. Maybe it’s a privilege thing.

You know who I do love, though? If you’ve read any of my other articles, this shouldn’t come as a surprise …

Lane Kim rules and I’m mad I’m just finding that out

I’m absolutely obsessed with Lane Kim (Keiko Agena). I mean, my god, who took my life and put it in a TV show? Asian girl who loves alternative rock and is trying to find her place in the world with opposition on either side—god yes? More, please? I want more?

That episode where she gets set up with some punk-ass white boy and tries to relate to him about music, oh, it killed me. I was cooking while watching the episode and was willing to burn my sauce when I heard her mention Beck. I thought, “Get TF outta here. No way is she talking about Beck. I must be hearing things.” But she just kept talking about him, trying to share her love for music with this dweeb, pulling out the Nico and the Velvet Underground of it all, and to no avail.

This shit had me cracking up, because girl, me too. At that age, all you want is to get the attention of some regular-shmegular guy, and then you do, and you realize he’s not as deep as you thought he was. I’ve had so many conversations with my other mixed/BIPOC girlfriends about that slow, awkward realization you have with a guy when you suddenly realize you’re just into cooler shit, and you were acting foolish for nothing.

More to the point, though, I just can’t believe I’ve missed out on Lane Kim all these years. She’s the kind of Asian character I’ve wanted to see more of: an alternative Asian girl who’s trying to break out of her mold, without shirking her identity entirely in favor of white expectations. Do I think the show tends to do Mrs. Kim dirty? Yeah, definitely. But I hear they rectify this later on, which I’m glad about.

And while I hate comparing girls, I gotta admit, I would have much rather seen a show about Lane’s experiences in Stars Hollow than Rory’s. The next best example I can think of is Maya, from PEN15, and as much as I love both characters, Maya’s … Maya. Not only that, but I’ve heard her storyline gets shafted pretty badly down the line, which is both predictable and disappointing. At the very least, I’m glad so many other people love her and feel similarly about her character.

It still holds up!

Overall, I’ve been so pleasantly surprised by how good this show is. I don’t watch a lot of TV, for the same simple, snobby reason I don’t read as much as I used to: I just don’t think a lot of things out there are good. So, it’s been so delightful to sink my teeth into this show, and it makes me sad that I didn’t get into it sooner.

For as frustrating as Rory’s antics can be, this show is so full of charm, heart, and love, that it fills me with a sense of optimism I don’t get from a lot of modern shows. Maybe I wouldn’t have appreciated that as much as a teenager, so I guess it’s a good thing I’m getting into it now.

It does, however, mean I missed out on a lot of talk surrounding this show—so now’s the time for any old fans to share their thoughts on it, too! I’m very curious to hear anyone’s take on this show, so please feel free to dish in the comments!

(featured image: The CW/The WB)