I wish more reality TV was like ‘The Boyfriend’

Reality TV is not particularly known for its capacity to make you feel better about humanity. Yes, there’s fun to be hard in watching strangers be assholes to each other. But we also get that in our politics, and in our day-to-day existences, so I’m already quite full on that front, thank you.

What if I told you there’s a reality show which is genuinely heartwarming? That will genuinely remind you that humanity has a capacity for good? So much so, that one of the hosts in the final moments of the series said she wishes society worked like this? I present to you: The Boyfriend, Japan’s first LGTBQ+ reality series.

The Boyfriend feels like a successor to Terrace House, a popular Japanese reality show that was canceled in 2020. The two share several core features: a group of people live together in a house, hoping to find friendship and/or love among the other members. Unlike Big Brother, they can come and go as they please, with several members leaving for days at a time for work. A group of TV personalities occasionally cut in to remark on the goings-on.

However, you might remember that Terrace House ended tragically, with a member dying by suicide due to online bullying because of the show. For a while, it seemed this tragedy had killed this genre of Japanese reality TV. But The Boyfriend definitely learned from Terrace House‘s mistakes. The hosts don’t make fun of the members anymore, and there’s no efforts to create a “villain.” Even Shun, the cast member you most want to grab by the shoulders give a good shake, is treated with (deserved) empathy.

Japanese game shows are famous for being delightfully chaotic. Japanese reality shows, not so much. Many modern Japanese reality shows are incredibly chill. Where American reality TV often features remarkably frequent dramatic outbursts, one of The Boyfriend‘s biggest points of tension came while the cast, in level voices, attempted to reconcile the house budget with a go-go dancer’s chicken smoothies. Yes, you read that right: chicken smoothies.

It’s clear that the eight cast members in the household like each other and want to respect each other’s needs and boundaries. They listen and support each other when someone shares, say, the heartbreaking story behind their father’s recent death, or their concerns about coming out to their parents. There’s one moment where one cast member gets genuinely angry with another, and he deals with it simply by asking him for an explanation of his actions.

Maybe The Boyfriend is so great because the cast members they found are special. But while they certainly are wonderful, I’d like to think that’s not the case. I’d like to think that being nice and respectful to people while on camera isn’t something only chalked up to chance and chemistry.

The Boyfriend is an absolute gem of a show. It’s the best reality show I’ve ever seen. If you go to reality TV for the high drama, you might not agree. But if you find yourself needing the television equivalent of a sun lamp for your soul, go to Netflix and watch The Boyfriend.