36. Wedding conductor
Inevitable? Maybe, but that doesn’t keep it from being a little sad: A recently married couple had their wedding conducted via iPad. As you can see in the still above and in the video below, the officiant is even fiddling with it when they kiss after taking their vows. What’s more, in the middle of the ceremony, the groom whips out his iPhone to Tweet and update his Facebook status.
37. Googly eyes
Thanks to advances predicted by Moore’s law, it is now possible to attach googly eyes to your iPad, such that your iPad appears to be a small creature with googly eyes. Not making this up.
38. Article of clothing
Maybe you have a bag for your iPad, but it just seems too subtle. After all, you could be carrying almost anything in there. But what if you had a hideously obvious and enormous pocket in your clothing? Now you’re cooking. Nothing like being unable to bend while obnoxiously advertising that you own an iPad to anyone around.
39. Nefarious decoy
A company called iPadDummy.net is selling fake iPads for just $49. But these are no iPeds; they truly are dummies, in the sense that they contain no electronics at all and do not function. But they seem like handy facsimiles! Dummy iPads look a whole lot like real iPads, nail the dimensions, and even have a heft to them (21.76 oz versus the 24 oz of the real iPad).
40. Car stereo console
Get that confessional out of your dashboard and replace it with this iPad. Yes, the ultimate way to get your ride all pimped out this season is to fit it with a snazzy iPad to control all your in-car media functions. Also, who doesn’t want to play Plants vs. Zombies at red lights? But seriously, just at red lights. Don’t hurt anybody.
41. Car kit
Going on a car ride with some youngsters (or oldsters) in the back seat? Don’t want them to keep asking if you’re there yet? Well then give them some good, new-fashioned entertainment with an iPad car kit. With simple objects found around the house, you can make an extremely ugly way to hang your iPad so that your passengers can do whatever it is they do back there.
42. In-flight entertainment
Airline company Jetstar is testing the rental of in-flight iPads preloaded with videos, games, e-books, magazines, games, and music for $10 on domestic flights across Australia. A good idea, but I’m wouldn’t pay extra money for an entertainment system that’s approximately the same screen size and not much more useful than the one already integrated into the seatback in front of me. Now make it a regular feature of the plane, and then we’ll talk. Also, the airplane system allows the iPads to run during take-off and landing, which means no more grumbling like there used to be, back when they’d shut off the entertainment systems right in the midst of an epic battle and you would never learn how that damn movie ended.
43. Cell phone
Ring, ring! iPad phone! Yes, you can turn your tablet into an oversized phone if you, for some reason, really really want to. While it does, in theory, maximize the utility of a single apple product, it doesn’t really make for a humble public statement. But I guess that’s one way to save money on an iPhone: not having to buy one.
44. Fireplace
Someone has made an iPad app that simulates a fireplace by showing flames on the screen. While its press release claims that it “provides a fire so lifelike and captivating, you will feel the heat on your face and smell the dark smoky scent of the hearth. Fireplace HD is a spectacular display of cinema quality high definition video for your iPad. It features a crackling woodburning fire so realistic you’ll get hot!” this is likely somewhat of an exaggeration, unless your iPad happens to be wildly overheating at the time.
45. Velcro thingy
Or you could just use it normally.
46. Shield
As long as you resign yourself to the fact that an iPad shield is useless in defending against blunt weapon attacks and isn’t even all that useful against bladed ones, TKO Solutions’ $19.99 OnHand X-Belt will make for an OK means to transport your iPad around, if not a particularly good buckler.
47. Heavy metal muse
Maybe some of you don’t actually think the iPad is all that magical. Well, if you’re musically inclined, you could use the iPad to inspire your heavy metal attack song. Don your makeup and your ketchup, get your sacrificial lamb ready, and shred and shriek away to your hearts’ content. Because if your listeners still have ear drums, then you haven’t expressed your disdain enough.
48. Roman missal
On the flip side, if you’re of a lawful rather than chaotic alignment, this could be for you: Because the kids these days can’t seem to get enough of the Roman missals used in traditional Catholic services, the Rev. Paolo Padrini, who previously developed an iPhone app called “iBreviary” that has been downloaded more than 200,000 times, has come up with a multilingual iPad app containing the full service. The Vatican isn’t officially endorsing the app, however. (image via)
49. Clipboard and pen
Digital paper is quickly replacing, er, paper paper, as demonstrated by this Particle Case whose sole purpose is to clip an included foam-tipped Pogo stylus to the iPad. Nice, in that it lets you create an electronic notepad: now my little doodles of big-breasted anime women can be easily saved as JPEGs. It’s awfully expensive, though, at $35 a pop.
50. Thing to be ashamed of
But all of the previous uses assume that the iPad is something that you want to proudly flaunt. What if, instead, you want to hide it in shame? First there were Harry Potter book disguises (to hide your lameness). The logical next step, obviously, is the iPad disguise (to hide your lameness and your wealth). Not too effective, though, considering a key part of the iPad is a clearly visible 9.7-inch screen.
Published: Jun 28, 2010 12:50 pm