Ryan Gosling as Ken and Margot Robbie as Barbie in 'Barbie'

Oh No, Kellyanne Conway Just Described My Perfect Day

Has she been reading my diary?

Since the Colorado Supreme Court ruled Tuesday that Donald Trump’s name could not appear on the state’s Republican primary ballot, conservative media has been pitching a fit over the decision. That includes Trump’s always terrible former senior counselor-turned-Fox News personality, Kellyanne Conway.

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Conway took a … unique approach to condemning the decision, choosing to mock Democrats for being too obsessed with the insurrection that got Trump scrubbed from the ballot.

“I just think the Democrats wake up every morning, Emily, and they look at the calendar, the iPhone says January 6, 2021—the date never changes,” Conway “jokes” (maybe??) to her colleague Emily Compagno. “And then they get in an electric vehicle and go get an abortion. I just described the Democratic Party in seven seconds. That’s it. That’s what I see. But it’s always January 6.”

I don’t know how conservatives keep doing this but once again they are making Democrats sound much cooler than they are. Honestly, this sounds like a montage straight out of Barbie. Every day, Barbie wakes up and it’s a very important day. She gets into her pink electric dream car and “Hi Barbies” her way down to the abortion clinic. The perfect day!

In reality, this doesn’t actually sound like the best day. January 6 was a momentous day that shined a light on a lot of the rot infecting this country. We want it addressed head-on and investigated fully but no one wants to relive it.

As for the rest, an electric car sounds cool, as long as it’s not an Elon Musk disaster waiting to happen. And an abortion every day? That just sounds time-consuming, especially with all the inconvenient and downright cruel obstacles Republicans have put in the way of obtaining abortions. We have busy lives and other things to get to! Let’s just start with safe and legal abortions some days, when we need and want them, and take it from there.

(featured image: Warner Bros.)


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Vivian Kane
Vivian Kane (she/her) is the Senior News Editor at The Mary Sue, where she's been writing about politics and entertainment (and all the ways in which the two overlap) since the dark days of late 2016. Born in San Francisco and radicalized in Los Angeles, she now lives in Kansas City, Missouri, where she gets to put her MFA to use covering the local theatre scene. She is the co-owner of The Pitch, Kansas City’s alt news and culture magazine, alongside her husband, Brock Wilbur, with whom she also shares many cats.