‘Knuckles’ Rolls Into His Own TV Series

Before we even begin to address a Knuckles TV series, I need to ask: What is Knuckles again?

An echidna? That’s a made-up animal. It doesn’t exist. Like a unicorn. Or a narwal. Listen, I had a hard enough time buying that Sonic is actually a hedgehog when I was watching the Sonic movie. Now you’re gonna lie to my face and tell me that I’m wrong? That echidnas actually exist? That everything I know is a lie?

Sorry, kid. You’re gonna have to wake up pretty early in the morning to fool me. Because I wake up at 5AM and stuff my ears with cotton balls to block out falsehoods. Then I have some tea. All part of the morning ritual.

The Knuckles trailer is here

Paramount+’s trailer for the Knuckles series only adds to my questions about echidnas and what the heck Knuckles is actually supposed to be. Wait a minute, he’s even getting his own series? How did we get so far down this road with a pretend animal!?

And now you’re telling me this made-up Knuckles guy is getting his own TV series? Fat chance, bub

According to this lying-ass website, the Knuckles TV series has been greenlit. It’s currently in production. Yeah, sure it is. Who’s gonna be in it? Idris Elba?

Wait … he is?

So you’re telling me that Idris Elba is going to be playing this fantasy creature again? WHAT DO YOU MEAN “AGAIN”? HE’S DONE THIS BEFORE!? Okay, let me get this straight: Idris Elba played Knuckles in Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and now he’s reprising his role? Sounds fishy. How do I even know Idris Elba himself is real? I’ve never met him. Could be AI-generated for all I know.

You’re also telling me that Adam Pally from The Mindy Project is gonna be in this one? As who? Wade Whipple? THAT SOUNDS LIKE A MADE-UP NAME. Who is WADE WHIPPLE? Oh, I see … he’s the cop from the Sonic movies. Great, this series has cops in it? Now I’m really stressed out.

Don’t lie to me now … what’s this Knuckles series gonna be about?

Alright, so what you’re saying is that the series takes place after the events of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 but BEFORE Sonic the Hedgehog 3. Wait, there’s a third movie coming out!? On December 20, 2024!? This some kind of early Christmas present? Nevermind. Just tell me the plot of the series.

What you’re telling me is that it’s about Knuckles (who I’m still not sure exists) training Wade Whipple (again, made up) to be his protege and learn the “way of the echidna”? WHAT WAY IS THAT!? It’s a NO way for me. I just googled an echidna and there’s NO WAY these little guys are real. It’s a hoax! A sham! Nothing this weirdly adorable could ever exist in this cruel world! No matter what Wikipedia says!

Whatever … I’ll still watch the show.

Wait, when does the Knuckles TV series come out?

So you can tell me everything else I need to know about this made-up animal and his made-up cop friend, but you can’t give me a release date? Well, since it takes place before the third Sonic movie, I guess it’s safe to assume the Knuckles series will be on TV sometime before that movie comes out? Hello?

(featured image: Paramount)