Toxic, patriarchal ideas of masculinity hurt men just as they hurt women—especially when men deviate from the pre-assigned ideas of what it means to be “a man.”
Actor and advocate Terry Crews has been having to defend himself online because of terrible people on the internet wanting to interrogate him as to why he didn’t beat up WME’s Adam Venit, the agent that Crews alleges groped him at a Hollywood party.
Why didn’t you say something?
I did.
Why didn’t you push him off?
I did.
Why didn’t you cuss him out?
I did.
Why didn’t you tell the police?
I did.
Why didn’t you press charges?
I did.
Why did you just let it happen?
I didn’t.
Why didn’t you beat him up?
(Sigh)
— terrycrews (@terrycrews) June 29, 2018
One of the men who has decided to publically mock Crews is rapper and “actor” 50 Cent.
While he has deleted the post that got him in trouble, screenshots showed that 50 Cent posted two photos of Crews on Instagram. One showing him topless with the words “I got raped, my wife just watched” edited onto it. The other is of Crews with a rose in his mouth and the words “Gym time.”
“LOL,What the f*** is going on out here man?,” 50 Cent wrote as his caption. “Terry: l froze in fear, they would have had to take me to jail. Get the strap.”
Crews has talked about why he didn’t beat up the man in question during his Senate testimony: “As a black man in America,” he said, “you only have a few shots at success, you only have a few chances to make yourself a viable member of the community. I’m from Flint, Michigan. I have seen many young black men who were provoked into violence: They were in prison or they were killed. They’re not here.”
Thankfully people are calling out 50 Cent for his dumbassery, even if he is framing it as people “losing their sense of humor.” Okay sure, Curtis.
Toxic masculinity is what is doing @50cent instead of showing support to @terrycrews he is mocking him.
Childish.
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) June 26, 2018
This is why so many men (most especially Black men) don’t speak about the abuse they’ve faced because men like @50cent mock them.
Things need to change.
— Kelechi Okafor (@kelechnekoff) June 26, 2018
Right now there is a petition going on to get 50 removed from his show Power, which is very unlikely to happen. At the end of the day, most people in the industry don’t get “canceled” for being assholes. For every Roseanne surprise, there are plenty of men out there who get to bask in their own idiocy and collect a check.
What the ultimate goal needs to be is changing the idea that only a certain kind of person can be raped or assaulted or harassed. And we need to understand that not reacting instantly with violence is not consent or a sign of weakness. While we should all come and support Terry Crews because he fucking deserves it, at the end of the day if 50 Cent works on Power or not, Crews is already doing more work to change and humanize black men than anything 50 Cent has done.
Crews is doing that through being honest, vulnerable, and above all, brave enough to stand up for himself now and all the men in the future who will have him as a template of how to go forward.
Terry Crews is a real-life Steven Universe. We don’t deserve him, but thank goodness he is here.
(via CNN, image: screengrab)
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Published: Jun 29, 2018 01:15 pm