Beastie Boys’ Mike D. Designing a “Grown Man” Bag Collection. Next Up: “A Very Manly Apron.” Uh…

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Hey, masculinity, how are you feeling? Are you okay? Because I’ve been a little worried about you lately, dude.

FYI, men of the world, it’s okay if you carry a bag that isn’t utilitarian and blue. It’s even okay if you carry a bag that could be construed as a purse. But if you’re really worried about this sort of thing, then you probably have something in common with Mike D. of the Beastie Boys.

Mike D. wanted to carry a bag to and from the studio, but he didn’t want to have to carry a backpack, because that didn’t look grown-up enough for him; “I’ve had backpacks my whole life and I’m a grown man now. I should have something better,” he told Billboard. What about shoulder bags, Mike D.? I guess those just aren’t manly enough …

Until now! Mike D. has teamed up with Clare Vivier to design a line of “grown man” bags. Vivier says the bags are (obviously) something that any gender could use, telling Billboard, “I would carry everything we’ve made in this collection.” So why bother to specify “grown man,” then?

Mike D. described the project of creating the bag as “a very selfish exercise,” since he really just wanted a bag that he felt comfortable wearing to and from the studio. I’m pretty shocked that he couldn’t find a bag on the market that appealed to his “grown man” sensibilities, but apparently, he needed to make his own. Is this bag manly enough? I guess I have no way of knowing these things.

In the Billboard piece, Mike D. elaborated on some of his future plans: “I think another collection would be a great excuse to get more crazy with the colors. Maybe a little shock of neon in there? Like volt green for you people? I’m joking, but I definitely think expanding out from what we’ve done would make sense. I’m in need of a man apron. A very manly apron.”

Something funny that I did noticed when I tried to save the Instagram photo from Clare Vivier’s feed was that the version that saved doesn’t appear to have the same filters on it, and the bag looks purple. I swear. Look for yourself.

purple man bag

I don’t know which photo reflects the real color of the bag … but I gotta admit, I like the purple version a lot better than the blue. Not sure whether or not it would be up to Mike D.’s standards, though!

Oh, and also, Mike D.? You don’t need to design a “man apron.” You can just buy an apron. I swear. They even make blue ones.

(via Hollywood Reporter, image via Instagram)

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Maddy Myers
Maddy Myers, journalist and arts critic, has written for the Boston Phoenix, Paste Magazine, MIT Technology Review, and tons more. She is a host on a videogame podcast called Isometric (relay.fm/isometric), and she plays the keytar in a band called the Robot Knights (robotknights.com).