Donald Trump Gives Last-Minute Endorsement to “ERIC” in Race Where Both Candidates Are Named Eric

Republicans in Missouri have long wondered who Donald Trump would endorse in their heated Senate race. He’d already said he wouldn’t endorse one candidate, Vicky Hartzler, which just left two possibilities: Eric Greitens and Eric Schmitt.

There are actually a lot of candidates in this very crowded race but Hartzler and the Erics are the only ones polling above even 10%. Schmitt is currently the state’s attorney general. He’s best known for suing basically everyone and everything possible and he’s spent recent weeks waging war on abortion. Greitens used to be the governor before he resigned in disgrace after being accused of sexual assault, blackmail, and a number of financial scandals. He’s also the guy who made that campaign video where he went “RINO hunting,” essentially threatening to murder fellow Republicans who aren’t extreme enough for his liking.

So which terrible Eric would Trump endorse? He finally issued a statement Monday night—the night before the primary election—saying his endorsement was going to … “ERIC.” All caps, no last name. Just “ERIC.” I can’t think of a more weasely, totally on-brand move he could have made.

Trump endorses “ERIC” without saying whether it’s Greitens or Schmitt. A truly bizarre ending to the battle of Erics. pic.twitter.com/FTIBWsZG5r

— Bryan Lowry (@BryanLowry3) August 1, 2022

In a statement posted to his website, Trump declared, “we must send a MAGA Champion and True Warrior to the U.S. Senate.”

“We need a person who will not back down to the Radical Left Lunatics who are destroying our Country,” he wrote. “I trust the Great People of Missouri, on this one, to make up their own minds, much as they did when they gave me landslide victories in the 2016 and 2020 Elections, and I am therefore proud to announce that ERIC has my Complete and Total Endorsement!”

Both candidates were quick to declare themselves the One True ERIC and claim the endorsement for themselves.

Greitens tweeted, “Honored to have the support of President Trump! We will MAGA!” He followed that up with another tweet attacking his opponent. “I’m honored to receive President Trump’s endorsement,” he wrote. “From the beginning, I’ve been the true MAGA Champion fighting against the RINO establishment backing Schmitt. President Trump said it best when he characterized Schmitt’s campaign as ‘great dishonesty in politics.’”

Meanwhile, Schmitt tweeted, “I’m grateful for President Trump’s endorsement. As the only America First candidate who has actually fought for election integrity, border security & against the Left’s indoctrination of our kids—I’ll take that fight to the Senate to SAVE AMERICA!”

According to Politico, Trump called each Eric ahead of releasing his endorsement and congratulated them, even telling Schmitt “You’ll be happy” about the statement. All three of these terrible, cowardly snakes deserve to be in this mess together.

Amazingly, there is actually a third Eric on the Republican primary ballot. Eric McElroy is not a serious contender for the seat—he’s the kind of candidate that gets less than 1% of the vote—but he must be having the time of his life right now.

Official statement from @VickyHartzlerMO on President Trump’s #mosen endorsement:

“Congrats to Eric McElroy. He’s having a big night.”

— Michael Hafner (@HafnerMO) August 1, 2022

(image: Michael Thomas/Michael M. Santiago/Getty Images)