My Dream Cast for ‘The Traitors’ Season 3 Involves One of the Best, Trashiest Reality TV Shows of All Time

If you didn’t watch The Traitors’ second season, you sorely missed out. Thankfully, it’s not 1993 anymore, so you don’t have to wait for a re-run at some point; you can stream it on Peacock now.

If you love trash reality TV (and believe me, I do), The Traitors has it all: Alan Cumming chomping scenes like he hasn’t eaten in weeks, lies, deception, and mayhem courtesy of your favorite reality stars across a variety of franchises, as well as some random public figures like a disgraced British politician who, despite your best efforts, you’ll probably find charming as long as you don’t Google him.

Do you know what it’s missing, though? The magic, charm, and chaos of the Rock of Love contestants. Good thing The Traitors is coming back for a third season to right this wrong.

Rock of Love, which ran for three glorious seasons from 2007 to 2009, is, in my very qualified opinion as someone who lives for trash in all forms, the greatest reality show of all time because it had the best cast of characters from any show, ever.

These women, who operated under the thinnest guise of wanting to become Bret Michael’s (obviously very fake) public girlfriend for a while until it was time to cast the next season, were really there to get on TV, drink as much free alcohol as their livers could take, and hopefully cash in on whatever money there was to be had merely for existing on TV. No one in the history of reality TV worked harder, or gave more, than a Rock of Love contestant. Any number of them would be perfect for The Traitors.

The precedent to be cast is already there, too. Tiffany Pollard, aka New York, from Flavor of Love season one, was cast last fall on another Peacock reality show, House of Villians. So there’s no excuse not to bring back Heather from ROL season 1 or Ashley from ROL season 3 unless Peacock simply doesn’t have the gumption (or hair extension and eyeliner budget) for them.

The Traitors is all about strategy, and frankly, some of the contestants on season 2 played theirs too subtly for my taste. While it was nice to see everyone generally get along (and see one of my favorites, Phaedra, continue to redeem herself after a, uh, disastrous end on Real Housewives of Atlanta) as a fan of the genre, it would also be fun to see a few contestants come in like wrecking balls, screaming accusations at everyone, and strong-arming their will as a way to play the game, aka the Rock of Love way.

Also, as a scholar of the Rock of Love contestants in particular, let’s not forget that they were able to drop all pretense of wanting to date Michaels and compete for cash in I Love Money, so they’re well primed for the end goal of The Traitors, too.

Part of the reason why I think The Traitors works so well in its American iteration is that it brings back familiar faces from years, if not decades ago, and allows them to compete on TV once more. Should the Rock of Love women also not get that chance?! Do you not want to see if they are still partying hard, teasing their hair, all the while getting nervous when they’re near open flames due to their universal penchant for only wearing highly flammable fabric? It can’t just be only me. Additionally, what I enjoyed so much about these women is it was clear they knew what it was like to have to scrounge up a dollar to pay their rent, occasionally. While I love the Housewives franchise, what reality TV is missing right now are people who don’t have a diamond guy on speed dial. Or, at least, people who don’t pretend they do.

So, to the producers of The Traitors, I say stop being scared of what wrenches these fabulous women might throw into your game (and the potential increase in insurance premiums as a result) and embrace the chaos. Cast the Rock of Love women on your show. Give the people what they want!

(Featured Image: Peacock, VH1, Photoshop)